specially for u , spiderman~

dear spiderman,

thank you very much that supporting me this few days when i so depress.. i knw u r very worry about my studies as i also worry yours.. i am so touch of what u have done to me. although u r not around me this few days... after u knw i get the mark not wat i expected in my PR course.. i see in my eyes, felt with my heart... u ask advice from ur cousins.. yesterday at nite u called me.. i got so shocked.. becoz u called me juz want to say wat ur cousin teach me. although i have been force to speak english with u in the following days. but i am happy with it. coz i got a chance to improve my poor english.. u even said get me a book to let me read everyday... tat moment u knw wat i tink? is happy and sad too. hehe.. coz force to read book ma.. but i happy u so care me u knw..? not oni u, but oso ur cousins.. whahaha, i wonder is it u demand ur cousin to help me lo. but i am so happy yet so sked.. i happy coz i got a great senior tat i wish to have before.. sked is i worry i will bother them as she graduated, and she got her works and stress. and i sked i disappointed them if i din do well... but i am strongly agree with ur cousin which study smart nt too hard.. tats wat i learning now too... hehe...

dear, i really feel so fortune to meet u. do u believe this is called god arrangement?? i believe wan... i believe if i be kind, god will give reward to me 1 day later.. so now, i got u.. although i got hurted before start with u.. luckily , i met u.... i really nvr believe that v din argue since v started. r v success?? v shud be proud rite?? hehe... coz v apply tolerance, care and understanding in this relationship.. i really feel the love u pour to me everyday.. i hope u wont be lazy to pour or feel bored to pour the love to me in the future...hehe..bleh~ but, 1 thing for sure... u really so sayang me.. even out of my expectation.. do u remember the nite i cried infront of u telling u "i sked u will like my ex bf, juz short term relationship.. 1 week? or juz few months? " u said "is entire life.." ( crying again (,=.=ii) ) see, i nvr forgot wat u said wan.. dun lie to me ar. really thank you very much.. thanks for accept the whole of me.... u really not said to coax me oni.. u really prove to me d....
dear, sometimes i was thinking alone... i alwis asking myself if v so close to each other everyday, will we feel bored in the future? is it will become bored to face each other? but recently i found that i not used to the day without u beside me instead.. i become so depends on u d.. coz i felt i got a person that i really can rely on.. and tats u... i dunno wat will happen in the future.. but i believe our future will full of joys and excitements. hehe.... coz i like to tease u... whahaha...i had writen a blog said tat gal is easy to say "i love u". but i believe u will tink u hard to listen these 3 words from me rite? whahahaha!! and u oso can count how many times i said to u. is juz one. hehe..i wonder y i hard to say so. mayb the least the thing is, the more valuable .. so now, u knw who so valuable?? whahahaha!!!!

A magnificent scenery is formed by mAny Fragments
every fraGments playing important roles ,
My Picture had been lost a piEce of Fragment before,
Today the Fragment come back to me,
and i realize tHat,
it is Nt a Fragment aNymOre,

it is My PUZZLE.

luv,
Mary Jane

boring saturday..

yesterday after chat with a fren. afta cried i start my chinese assigngment d... in the moment i doing my assignment... my fren told me the mark is over 15%.. wat the hell.. said early ma... i tinking am i weak till tat stage.... then nvm la.. as long as i knw.. this the effort how much i paid and how much i get.... mayb my lecturer put high expectation on us its oso juz wana to help us in the future... apple, gambateh.. sometimes really felt my will power quite same like my dad.. but my dad not easy to give up easily . i shud learn from him.. but.. finally i used 3 hours until 2.30am to finished my part in my chinese assignment.. so i got no worry d.. juz left Electronic publishing and PR assignment... today.. i do ntg in the room... woke up early in the morning then went to class.. then went to eat alone.. after tat went bak to my hostel watch movie and sleep.. i set the alarm 1 hour b4 the class at 6pm later. after wake up boil water and eat maggi then go class. but, suddenly raining d.. sigh... no1 can fetch me to class. so...? skip lo.. wat to do... ? i wonder y i so tired recently.. juz like this afternoon i slept 4 hours d. now still very tired and not even start any revision.. hehe... saturday ma.. off 1 day lo. kekekekek... so i watch drama .. tmr la..
sometimes i felt i so useless... i alwis care the other half examination but i am the 1 get bad result instead... so guilty tat ask ppl study but me the 1 no qualification.. juz like 2 years before.. i juz knw to ask the ex bf to study... finally, he the 1 get better result than me...and proceed to degree smoothly .... sigh... i knw wat kind of me.... i wonder y i cant get equilibrium in both side.. but i wont give up to prove i am not affected... haha.. coz i willing to prove.. it is oso a great motivation for me to show my parents. i am not the Ai Ping like before...
tok about my parents ...i alwis need to prove alot to them.. recently i did it .. i get bak the trust from my mum.. and my aunt.. u knw? in my family can get appreciation frm my 2nd aunt tats is the great motivation. i still remember during the chinese new year, my aunt standing near the door and tok to me "hey, show something for us to proud off k?" wow! i feel like having a great force in my body.. if u dunno my family, u wont knw how i care this idol(2nd aunt)wenever she tok to me.. and tat moment i knw she tok like this coz she believe my ability d. this is not a stress or force.. becoz she tok with smile at me. tats y i am so happy. she like to praise me in front of my mum. if not her, i tink my mum still tinking i am the 1 who ever fell down greatly.. tats y , now my mum start to put bak the expectation on me.. hehe.. for ur information, my 2nd aunt wont simply praise ppl oh~tats y my mum felt so proud wenever my aunt praise her little fat gal. my wish wont be happen d.. coz i ever wish tat i got a chance to take photo with my dad wen i wearing the gown and mortarboard.. so now, i juz wish tat i got a chance to take photo with my 2nd aunt during my convocation day.. but i tink i juz dreaming lo... if my popo come i more happy.. but i knw wont lo.. coz i knw my popo went to my cousin convocation lastime was becoz he get top 1 in the medicine field.. deliver speech on the stage by taking a stick which represent the honourable in the medicine field wor... i where got such ability can do like my cousin did wor... many grandchildren oni 1 or 2 got the chance tat popo attend to graduation day wor..plus, popo's leg cant stand long geh.. nvm lo.. as long as my picture with mortarboard can hang againts the wall in popo's house like all my cousins did i already so proud d... hehe ... paiseh... tok so far d... watever la.. study hard 1st...
ermm.. quite jealous Kimberly got many relatives attend to her graduation day.. anyway, gud luck in ur future undertakings.

luv,
Apple

i so depress....

i am so depress now... my mind juz full of worry.. so upset about my course mid term... so lost.. even start to tink am i suitable for this course or not... its really long time din get such terrible figure in my life d.. tats y if juz a single "A" in my result i will be very happy... i am so lost... very unhappy... i self-examination the whole day... i tinking wats the problem in my paper... i wish to meet my lecturer as soon as possible... i wish to knw where is my problem...yet... i so afraid.. my self-esteem really playing my mind this sem... i realize my confidence really extremely low recently... i alwis console myself, motivate myself by writing something motivate phases in my blog...and boost up my self-confidence... yet... i still the same... where is the smart Apple d??? where is the brave Apple?? i wonder.... actually i really wish to cry... but the tears..... its not come out... i dunno y i so calm to knw tat wen my fren told me... i really wish i was not 1 of them... wats wrong with me??

fren, tell me... am i not suitable to be a PR practioner ? i so sked.... i started to judge my ability.... give me some respone if u r 1 of my best frens....... i tink u all knw me better...

by lost Apple

tha day i realize something..

today i went to PR tutorial.. i aksed my lecturer wat company she work. she told alot to us, and i found her experiences really nvr let me looked down on her ability.. and she pointed some of my classmates tat got the ability to work in event.. do u knw, i hope i am 1 of them.. but i am not . i oso understnd y i not pointed out.. becoz in the class i lacking show my ability.. lacking voice out opinions. tats y lecturer still cant found out my ability.. and she told us even during the internship v still nit to show our result 3.5 above oni easier to get job... i start to fear.. i start to no confidence.. but today oso let me understand alot... i cant juz kept silent like this d... i wana be 1 of the gud student in the lecturer's heart... i dunno i can be or not.. if they not realize me nvm.. as long as i perform well.. no more guilty in my result.. PR is not juz gud to knwing ppl, gud in communication... today, i realize few days ago i was very childish... finally during the working place.. they still nit to c our result and certs.. y i still stubborn tinking something useless and pointless... work hard 1st.. so tat i got the potential not oni in knowledge but oso in talent and skill.. i realize if a PR person juz knw to tok , yet pointless is juz showing the potential in toking.. but it is still depends on tok with point or pointless. so.. i dun want to be a person juz knw to tok nonsense.. but oso smart to tok and tok smart..
i undersantd d... knowledge oni the way tat i can show off in the future.. talents is juz a skill to help me cope with the problems.. still the same phrase..

no dream is too high , no journey is too far..

awake Apple.

not happy and miss TB1....

today i m not happy...
y?? i hope this is oni my sensitive or emotion..
i m very unhappy... becoz of something.. ya..
i tinking wat is the meaning of "friend"..
pls, i want a true fren.. a sincere fren..
and this moment i start to miss the foundation life.. a big gang of gud frens go everywhere.. crap everyday.. and today i understd who oni my true and gud frens...
the 1 nvr sked of me.. not counting everything we got sadness juz a call will lend their ears to me. wen i cry a shoulder beside me...
hey, my best fren.. not i dun want to join to group, is i not invited to group..
how i dare to sit in the group?
wen invited is juz a coincidence in some where... this makes me so disappointed about the word of "friend".
previously, wen i start to knw i have divided to PR 4 i was so sad... then take a long time oni i get to mixed around with new frens.. not they not nice.. they r funny, they are humour.. even many ppl want to change to PR4.tat moment i start to cheer up again... but wen i met the PR1 in mamak. they r like a great team. they r active.. they have gud personality.. it seems like the TB1 i ever met.. wow, TB1 i miss u all.... when v r goin to yum cha again..? hehe... zying!!! our great classrep... muacks..

by no confidence gal..

PR midterm tmr

i am so worry about this subject.. i quite blur even after study... juznw i went to mamak with kuoky... this is the 1st time i broke my record tat i go yum cha and tmr got exam somemore.. so tired now... dunno wat i can pop out in the mid term tmr or not? sigh.. quite worry.... the last chapter was the chapter i very blur.... the rest are ok ... but cant remember all lo... hope tmr can perform better... my youngest bro wana stop his study .. and this time he come bak to kampar is to settle all his stuff... i dunno this is the rite choice or not... but if after he walk in the social life ... i still hope tat 1 day later he eventually realize his education level is not enuf for him to survive nowadays. then go bak to his studies life... and study hard compare with the past.. but i juz sked he influence by the social and not willing to go bak to his studies then i will very disappointed to him.... sigh... bro, i waiting u to wake up and realize wat is more important now .... and future..