japanese test tmr!!

argh!!! i so scare. although v alwis says tat it is pass or fail oni.. but i so sked... the assignment really killing me.. luckily the midterm did well to cover back... i still nit to score 35 oni safe.... i have started my revision since wednesday... but i still no confident ... who to blame...? is lecturer. u knw y.. becoz he din tell the format of the exam paper.. i'm not want tips.. but at least let us knw how the format is ma!!! pukimat. tot he very polite, learn those japanese culture but dunno how to teach geh..assignment use verbal to tell the instruction then all blur blur, the day presentation then u said better got this and tat. fuck u!! tell early la! u shud show in wble ma!!! pull my mark down leh... ish!! wat i can do now is try as much as i can to remember the vocab... hopefully tmr i able to answer... god bless me.... bless me...

wat shud i do??

argh! i have missed the last replacement class for japanese. i dunno the format of the exam at all. cham... today i slept 12hours d... argh!!! next saturday ald is the final for japanese. but now i dunno wat to do leh.... i dunno the format lo.... y this sem seems like din started at all.?? suddenly final coming.. haha... then holiday come again... i really din feel the holiday lo... dunno y... and the most annoying is the course register damn late this sem... the authorization slip oso dunno where to get.. online again....?

i have my room back!!!

haha!!!!!! my roommate move out d!!! yeah! i have my room back!! wat the fuck, since juz stay few months then dun move my furniture la!! but i can move back myself.... sigh!!! take all the key d. i wana change my table or cupboard oso cannot... hate... i start having my lonely nite from now.. abit sked.. but i more freedom to do anything i want at home.. i'm not going to change my room lu.. since she move out.. haha..

very pity i went back hometown but sick over there. selsema, fever, sore throat, ish!! do u knw how stupid my lecturer is or not..? his class on saturday but he change to this sunday. yes, is sunday. so stupid la. and hor.... my assignment mark is the lowest in the class... damn upset... i also knw wats wrong with us.. i shud stand my point at 1st not allow my groupmate to cancel this , dun want tat. finally becoz of lazy... slide no power point.. book not like book... sigh..... from this affair i have learn tat if u think tats right and helping a group to get mark, muz voice out and stand with the point with tough.. this is wat i killed myself ..... started the 1st. getting the last... sigh... no more next time.. its really no more !!

i hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate

i hate y u juz like to refer to ppl wrong habit to learn for ur life. i hate u alwis mentioned how a working life stress and after tat will smoke or wat.. ! i damn hate u mentioned this to me!!!! yes!!! i tell u 1 more time! pls knw who i am, no matter how my future life stress i also wont touch cigarette!!tehy are they, me is me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate. i hate y all ppl support yet u r the 1 who alwis said i not suits to be public relations. i knw i become weak in social.. its juz i start realize academic more important than previous. i alwis wonder am i suits in this field.. i lacking confident days after days, but y u r the 1 who alwis not give me confidence !!!??? yet want to give me more obstacle to fight with this fear, this weakness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u understand or not!!!!??? wat u knw so far !!??? u dont ever try to tell me how they do something yet can get good result.. i'm not this style.. my style to refer is normal good student. not those type!!! i have my style to study.. even if i want refer also i will choose myself.. not who u recommended. u juz likes to learn their style. y cant u learn other proper way to study then i wont so worry of u !

i nit a supporter not an obstacle..

parents day..

yes, ladies and gentlemen, i had met kuoky's parents. haha.. finally i go thru this process.. yes, as some of u all feelings.. scary, nervous, heartbeat increase.. haha... this is he funny me... today i not dare to wake up late. becoz i knw his dad will come... i wake up, wash up. after tat a call from his mum..oh my god!! y is mum...? not dad oni meh..? yes, i compelled to face them.. as polite i not hiden anymore, went down and greets them.. when i go out and greets uncle, i saw a friendly smile happily from his dad. haha.. finally ur son's gf appear in front of u. haha... i can saw ur happiness. then a person sitting in the car.. but she never seen me before.. suddenly she come out from the car, yes" mum, this is my gf, Apple" then greets her with smile.. u knw la smile is my "sang jiu pai" ma. wahahaha...!! then after uncle stick the roadtax at the car. his mum asked eat d or not. then invite me to go eat together..

starting uncle plan to eat the "yeong taufu" but din open. so we went to "kam ling" restaurant. juz a lunch... we went to restaurant.. and oso my 1st time go kam ling to have my food although i have study here for almost 2 years.. haha... dishes?? fish, vege, chicken, fried wantan, fried rice. wat the atmosphere...? for me i think is stress. haha.. coz girl ma, u wont knw how much mark will be get from the bf parents.. haha... as polite i have to pour tea to these elderly.. but the other side, yes, the kuoky???!! he play psp with his bother.. how dare him.. !!auntie asked me "Apple, u r local here?" this is a simple question yet is abit stress for me.. u knw y? she speak english to me.. of coz i understand english.. juz that at tat moment i was thinking is next time i oso have to speak english with u..? my god... becoz i heard from kuoky before tat his mum english damn strong even stronger than uncle... but is oso a good starting for 2 of us, i quite happy that finally auntie start to observe this son's gf. haha... and is abit a weird feeling for me.. becoz never been a elderly call me APPLE, normally my uncle and auntie call my last 2 name in chinese. so if next time they got a chance to speak together i juz scared my relatives dunno who Apple is. haha... how is his parents??

hmm~~ nice, uncle treat me so good. haha... ermmm.. auntie so far i can find a way to tok to her... hehe... although she look strict.. but maybe is auntie not feeling well too.. many girls may said tat 1st impression is very important. especially dressing... yes, if i feel this part then pls scold kuoky... help me scold him... becoz he dun let me prepare.. i juz wear like normal, a batik pant and a t-shirt.. i wonder is this good ..? becoz auntie looking at me from top to bottom... hopefully they accept this true of me.. yes, i dun like make up.. haha... simple and comfortable is the best.. argh!!!!!! i wrote my soul has gone from my body in facebook. now every1 laugh at me d.. haha.. yes, when i thinking back the silly me, i will oso smile automatically... haha... bless me ..

Apple

emo me..

recently, i started to asking myself am i no frens...? besides the foundations frens am i no more frens?? i saw alot of my coursemate go here and there in gang how i hope i am 1 of the member inside.. i am not as silent as u think... i am active person... i wonder is it i have a bf here become my social getting smaller... my bf giving 100% freedom for me to join frens yet not i dun want to join is i'm not invited to go..... so sad... this sem i realy so emo..... so emo..... emo in still finding frens till the end of the year 1..... emo in every sem finding group... y i no fixed group... how to say not fixed group maybe i can say i got alot of frens yet do not have close 1 which can share my heart..??? am i got personality problem..? or i'm the 1 who so old become cant join ...? argh.. wish to shout out loud i am so lonely... lonely.... my darling alwis ask me to join my frens.. sigh, y dun u think mayb they tot u are here become not dare to invite me go here and there.....

lonely Apple

i am so stress now...

u all may says that i alwis get stress easily... but maybe i too are my result... see... tmr juz a simple japanese quiz i memorize like hell... so hard... the katakana... argh!! so stress.. maybe i too concern to get full mark in this simple test... i no confident..... this sem assignment seems easy but the due date is too near d... i have to arrange my time better to finish it...but all member never corperate to complete a assignment before.. so wats the product?? ermmm... i dunno... wont be so bad i think...

something bad i can feel...

today went to utar.. then pass thru the guard house. the guard block me. and told me the sticker cant use d.. haiz... luckily he let me in.. coz i told him i buy 1 year ... then after class i wen to exchanged back wat i shud get.. the sticker become red colour d... i really so sked next year i cant get sticker... i asked the staff, he said next year no more 1 year sticker d.. have to apply every semester.. if bad luck how? argh!! i cant imagine the day no sticker and nit to travel over the gate at eastlake.. if i got car no problem.. but motobike leh.. if rain i still go in to utar ... coz my body sure wet compare to car... tats y i understand for those who cant get sticker they may pray for rain everyday in order to go in the Utar without block by the guard... sigh... i really so scared this will happen to me.... hopefully daddy really blessing me every year so that i no more obstacle for getting the sticker.. y i sared..? becoz have to fight with car driver... argh!! if i miss the chance to apply. then die lo.!!!

unhappy... y i seems like no more frens d...

these few days i was thinking y i seems like no more frens d... how to say?? frens i got alot... but i seems like cant find a fren to share my heart... 1st week of study.. i looking around to find ppl to group with me in the assignment.. i hate this feel... seems so pity.. i wish i can have a fixed group of assignment partners.. even i not there they will automatically reserve a place for me... but.... i dun have this kind of group.... i dun like every assignment mixed with all different ppl... becoz i nit to match different group timetable to discuss my assignments... but this concept not many ppl realize of it... and non stop of choosing the best member being in their group... maybe this is human instinct.. becoz of this happened.. i seems like so pity... become being choose by others , follow ppl... recently i am not happy... i start realizing i do not have the best frens as wat i had in foundation... i dun have the gang as wat foundation i had... i go here and there... seek and look around.... yes... i am the 1 who very pity ... this is my conclusion..... sometimes i really wish to says... i am not those kind got bf no more frens 1... when i sitting in the same restaurant met my coursemate.... yet my heart is wishing i am of the member in the coursemate's table... sob... sob..... who knw....? oni my darling knw.....

Happy birthday darling~~

yes, 26th September is my darling birthday.. since he will go back hometown on his birthday so v make it 1 day early..
i finshed the IMC paper with a sleepless condition... i slept 2 hours for yesterday.. its too tired for me.. is very suffer wan.. if u all knw what kind of ppl i am . then after test i went to have food with his coursemates.. then i find alot of reason to run away from kuoky to prepare for his birthday.. argh!! that moment was so hot outside.. i go 2 bake shop to look for birthday cake... not much then go others. finally.. i bought 1 chocolate cake for him.. but dunno y this sticky person kept on want to follow me.. hahaha... but i nit to take my "product " from mei fong.. haha.. a own made video for kuoky birthday... so i find another reason to let him away from me awhile.. hehe.. finally settle wat i shud do . then i faster rush to his room.. coz he sound like angry.... but sigh... do u knw i busy with settle all the thing to u..? bleh!! yes.. cant have a enuf nap... then go for steamboat...
juznw we went to 2 in 1 near by Tesco to have our celebration.. wah!! is so .. ermmm... dunno how to say.. haha.. i quite enjoy with the food la.. juz not much compared with the shop in Ipoh .. we took family photo somemore.. soooo.... fat... they all want kuoky and me to sit down when taking photo.. its really like a grandma and grandpa taking photo with all their grandchildren.. (=.=i) so ugly for me and kuoky.. haha.. i dun have the picture.. so kuoky may post it when he get it.. and all present or party photos.. haha... it is very tired to handle two gang of frens of kuoky. many unexpected affairs happen.. change and change.. i inform again and again.... so tired.. dear... u knw how i care to create both unforgetable birthday party for u d?? bleh~~ besides that, i would like to thanks mei fong, Dev, Ian, Wui Loon, Kenny, Carment, James, Zhen, Wen Sin, Kuan, Tuan Lam and Plavin ( duno spell coorectlly or not) for co-operate to create a birthday party and surprise for the Kuoky. haha.. really thanks alot.. and of coz.. to my lovely darling, kuoky..


Happy Birthday & Happy 9 months anniversary~!!!

p/s: hehe.. kuoky will responsible for upload the photos. haha..

Apple

y i cant pak tou in my family...

argh! i dunno y others can pak tou happily yet i date with secretly.... my mum asked me am i dating... shud i admit..? sigh... she ask with the tune tat makes me uncomfortable.. sometimes wish to admit and share oso cannot... y ? y other can share their love story with parents and me cannot... shud i blame my youngest borther that creaed alot of problems when dating... so now i date in a suitalbe age oso get blame.. cant bear with this stress... i juz hope my mum can understand me... can linear to me abit since i am so big d... if not a bf, ur daugther wont got ppl to look after her in a place away from home..

will i get all B... sigh.. wont d..

sigh.. not enuf time to do my section C in EMC. but i wrote all d.. juz not enuf time for me to check.. the sequence not organise... then go home refered to the marking scheme. oh my god!!! i din write in paragraph.. cham... i waste 5 bonus mark.. is bonus u knw... y i said so?? it juz for paragraphing and intro,body, conclusion.. sad.. hopefully in front the part get higher to cover it back....
dunno y my gastric strike me badly this few days... after ate.. sit while i can feel the acid tat strike my gastric... damn suffer....
3 subjects down d... still got 3 more to go... so far the paper i sked the most i can handled and had become past tense.. so i quite not much worry about the following 1... but hor.. although i said not tat worry.. but when come to the day close to it... i sure nervous and not sleep well... since there is 4 hari raya holidays... i think i will spend it wisely. whahahaha~~!!!!!

insomia and nightmare begin...

argh!! i am so stress now!!! yestd my back so pain... tot go to sleep early ok la.. but when lie on the bed i lying until 3 am still opening my eyes... i dunno y once i close my eyes there are a lot of things to pop out in my mind ... until my eyes close d still feel the force tat i close it.... so suffering... then today my roomate wake up damn early... 8 am like tat already wake up... argh!! that's the time i juz sleep dying.. she open the door close again.. open and close many times.... too bad is the toilet door when open got sound... the whole morning juz kept listen to the door sound... then i wake up i still dizzying.. wat to do... i knw i will suffering with this in the morning tats y i request to go ur room sleep ytdy.. but i wonder y u cant understd.... the bad condition i have.... sigh... i start fed up with all of this d ... dun want lose... no matter how i said, how i explain.. the stupid still dunno... caring become controling... argh! more suffer... i really think alot ytdy.... and i hate ... i juz knw u can too protective even infront of me... u sked ur right gone worry this and tat. no face or wat... sigh... fed up... i damn fed up.... if me and urself.. i knw i'm juz the second.... in ur heart i'm the second, in my heart i putting myself also the 2nd.. u ? wat status i being in ?
the cost and reward tat study in psychology... i get cost or reward..? my heart has the answer....

i juz want a nice sleep from now on...
go away devil apple.

wish me luck ! luck ! luck!!!

finally step in the week to sit for the exam .. argh!! start to feel the atmosphere d... start to stress d. i juz hope to faster come to the friday. becoz i nonit so stress becoz of the 1st 2 subjects... the 2 subj i scared the most.. sigh.. juz finish revised what i shud read.... the last two subj of IPC i no confident.. i juz hope tmr my mind can pop out what i had read.... argh!! damn stress wan u knw.... alot coursework dunno... so finally i do not have a range to let me refer ... but still good... becoz i can give it my all... anyway...


ALL the BEst Apple !!!!!!

tiring Apple

am i...?

am i very manja..?
am i very bad temper?
am i very mafan..?
am i very not caring.?
am i so posessive.?
am i...?

am i alwis keep thing inside..?
am i keep till u dun even knw who i am..?
am i keep till suffer myself u also not realize..?
but y i keep or not still get scolded...?
then nextime i shud share or keep again...?

am i like to make thing serious alwis..?
am i make u cant breath..?
am i so childish..?
am i so stubborn.?
am i ....?

sorry....
sorry.. then sorry....

unhappy @pple

so sad...

tears dropping... so sad ... y there are so many blur ppl in the world alwis nit ppl do thing obviously oni realize...
are thoughts and feelings alwis vent out then oni ppl realize wat they doing for them , think for them...?
now i realize... many things really cannot oni appear on our mind and make up like :" i thought.. i thought.... " becoz thought is oni own perception... tats not wat other ppl thought....
finally is.. u thought i wont sad...., yet i sad now.... coz u thought i'm like tat....

day 2...

i juz finish revision of wat i read yesterday... plan to read more today... hehe... alot of ppl will having their exam on Friday.. but v r not... dunno is good or not...wat i worry the most still the 1 i care... he havent start his revision.... realy so worry about him.. but he would to say , this is my style... but i so worry him.... becoz this is no longer the foundation v having now.... every sem also the important sem for us... every sem CGPA oso related to our future... internship, interview... and oso our loan.... hopefully he can perform well... i really do not hope he stay in the same level.... he can go higher... he can aim higher... guy shud be like tis rite...? is not competition.. is for our own self... wat to say..? how to say..? dunno la... maybe book worm doesnt mean anything.. but still looking for result 1st when ppl hired us rite..? i alwis believe a person who good in language sure can handle better result... i knw u r lacking a "om" the motivation "om" whahaha....
i wonder why this sem i start so early... mayb i really felt i din do much well in my others subj... i sked... i sked this sem result will be sent by faculty when v internship where company looking for.... tats y lo.. maybe is good when sometimes we afraid and worry alot rite..? so v will oni strive more for exam lo... k la. i go continue my studies 1st...


@pPle~~

is cOme to the end of the sem again..

quite boring with the uni life here... start the sem, rush for the assignment , end the sem again.. it is so bored to such a life... whenever i busy with my assignment time. i sure will think of sem break... but this kind of sem break i will be have now is no longer as wat i wish... coz i knw... my sem break will be work for housekeeping at home.. serve my elder sis lunch, think wat she eat... even she will order u a place tat not smooth to go to pack for cham ice... but now... besides my mum bicycle at home i cant think of others vehicle to substitute my work.. coz the motorbike was taken by my eld bro to Malacca not even enuf 1 month then stole by jerk... if i ride the motor back to hometown i not dare lo... haiz... i cant imagine wat will my sem break be later.... sure argue alot with my eld sis i knw... becoz of wat...? housechores lo.......
yesterday went to ipoh for walk... really very unlucky... i met the untie that i sked the most.. my god... i dunno i shud said lucky or not.. coz i not holding hand with kuoky tat time before meet them.. then my uncle saw me, point at us, wat to do?? of coz go greet them la... then saw tat kuoky lo.... they are not stupid wan la.. but my aunt din call me afterward.. i was thinking.... wat will going to happen next if i meet her nextime... but , maybe my performance still ok tat time gua... after chat while with them..my soul is like out of my body... i sked like hell... i cant concentrate of wat i shop over there... but i still got bought a watch before met them tat time.. haha, so happy to have a POLO watch.. i wish to have long long ago d... whahahah!!! so nice .. i like it.. simple yet i like... it is not like wat saw in Tesco here wan.. all same type, style... this a bit class... hehe... silver colour.. somemore, final is around the corner. my watch ald broken for 1 month yet i still surveying want to buy or not.. finally io understd soemtimes wait awhile maybe there is a good thing waiting for me... dunno why... today is saturday yet feel like sunday... is totally cant feel the happy when weekend coming... becoz once next week gone there will be my final.... arghh!!! i am so blur now...


APPLE

i am so so so...... tired...

wake up early in the morning fetch my eld bro to bus station... haiz... wat to do... i dun want et scold if 2 times fetch ppl oso is my sis... so sacrifice lo... then come back to kampar d, busy like hell.. tmr is my PR writing presentation.. so scared lo... seems so strong every group.. yet lecturer still not satisfied.. so hopefully tmr our group perform well la... i am so tired leh... so sleepy... miss my darling.... think he might be sleeping now... last friday i spent alot... this was my first time buy clothes RM 130 something... but u knw wat i bought? alot!! u knw i use juz this much of money but bought 5 clothes, skirt, shirt and others. quite smart in spending gah... plus, all i bought ws sold very expensive lastime. now 70% discount. damn cheap.. the highest price oni charged me RM 32.90... whahhaaaa..... syok ! the cloth is very smooth and good quality wan leh..
k la... syok finish shud back to my duty d... go discussion... haiz... y are they alwis set the time in the middle of having food wan.. at a lost for words


Panda Apple

cold war end.

this was the 1st time tat v argue till hurted both parties so much... al suffer like hell... fight till the end... reason is no 1 willing to surrender. futhermore, if some1 underestimate me i more wana show i am not. haha.. u knw la. Aries horoscope ppl wont simply surrender wan ma.. who ask u chose a Aries gf. bleh~~ k la.. no more war then is good lo~~ elelele~~~ tok early ma nonit suffer la. bleh~~

muack~~

Apple

i got no energy to explain anymore..

so tiring... its so tiring me..... y again and again u miss undrstd me...? y..? that's no point for me to defend for myself d.... there oni never ending story...... i juz wana be alone to escape all happen between us... wish to go home... i cant bear to stay here d.... so suffer.... friday come faster... i want go home... i dun want face these all non sense, lame situation d....

damn sad rite now...

stupid me.... emo for wat.... but i am so sad now....even tears dropping on my tigh.. damn sad now... y toking i wasting money to buy spec... ? and hp....? do u knw the spec i wearing now makes me very uncomfortable...? mayb i dizzy alwis becoz something wrong with my spec.... hp... who not hope.. but did i act and go buy ....? did i??? every1 of my frens oso knw i wont simply spend money to buy hp.. u can see i alwis observe and look around ... i juz observe when they can drop the price much oni choose a rite time to buy... but did i go buy even there are drop price so much...? y toking me like tat......? sob..sob.. y forever in ur heart i m not independent. yet in my parent's heart i am?? coz u r my bf , thats makes when u with me i got some1 to rely on.. i can rest awhile to be tough... but parents i have to make them no worry on me.... i really dunno wat to say d.... i surrender d... let me alone and calm down...

cant u juz linear abit for me???

... i am damn not hapy rite now... whenever v tok about go back hometown, or religion stuff i sure kik till dunno wat to say.... i juz hope u linear to me oni.... how many times do i nit to say... i put famaily as 1st... i cant not go back to home town and meet my mum... y whenever i said want to go hometown u sure said me ... u might thinking i not independent this and that.. but did u put urself in my shoe and think y?? i left my mum oni!!. 31/8 got 3 holidays all my brothers got chance to come back, v finally can have a whole family meet and gather together y i not take this chance to chat with my family ... ?? i have been gone thru the moment that my loving dad leave me.. this is y i become more care about this family!! i more care about the moment that whole family can meet together... if juz in skol life u cant even understand y i want to spend my time with my parents then i couldn't imagine how wbout the future wat lo..... is it means even more i cant go back to meet my mum and parents.. or have to ask permission whenever i go home??? u understand y i not happy or not???!! how many time do i nit to say....?? can u use ur heart to think y i not happy or not?? this make me feel u so selfish u knw.. !? religion is the most sensitive issue wat but u can even said after wat wat wat i dun want wat.. come on.. i oso dunno how to explain to u.. as i have told u before wat i have been thru and experience something that not much ppl can have the chance to experience .. religion is juz a safety place that for me to behave more obidient, more kind and think about others so that i can remind myself not to behave bad oni.. if not there is a religion that can rely on, i think u wouldn't see me smiling alwis.. and will in trauma becoz of my dad leave me u knw!!?? do u knw i had emo for 3 months becoz i couldn't put down my dad. i even force myself to sleep everynite and try to think about the word of my believe "release". then oni i can stand till now.... u understand or not...? this believe has cultivated by my dad since small,so how can i accept a house without wat wat wat....this is totally a sensitive issue to tok with, can u think deeply for me.. dun too strict to me pls.. i very san fu if like that... is not i wana show u face when i dun like.. i juz feel like very innocent and dunno wat to tok and i knw i explain and explain u still behave like tat even i choose to be silent better...
sometimes, i wish to go some places with u to take some photos but u said hot la, dangerous la... then not allow... but do u knw there are the places that i wish to go with u and carve the unforgetable memories in my heart ?? and those places are i wish to go long long ago.... is like a fairy story for me... yet cant accomplish with u ......
do u knw i feel wana cry out loud rite now.....??? i so sad that u cant understand y i behave like this, y i tok like this ar................................................................
....................
..............
...........
.....
...

i'm really at a lost for words d.....


@pPLe.......

diarrhoea..

yesterday nite, i was so suffer ... dizzy like hell... then vomit and diarrhoea.... so suffer... 1st time food poisoning... luckily darling is here.. he fetch me to hospital ... after come bak from hospital i vomit again... but i vomit in the pail, luek~ so smelly... i was so dizzy.. i asked kuoky help me to wash the pail.. sigh... he sked.. then i wash the pail by myself with a damn dizzy condition.... haiz... sked apalah.. if u r the patient u vomit in the pail i will do it for u too... but u not dare... tat moment i quite disappointed lo... but sigh... i also understand it is so suffer for him to wash it so... then rest awhile , feel no nothing can vomit anymore, then i faster consume the medicine, after tat wash up and quickly go lie on the bed to sleep... so dizzy... so suffer... around 2.00am.. my roomate come back.. she really so sot wan.. wash clothes again... so noisy...damn annoying... the moment i open my eyes, no more dizzy d.. fine, ignore u.. then 6.30 am something... she wash clothes again!! yes, is again!!. u see, where got such silly ppl wan???? i met first time.. say her hardworking or wat?? then i skip the POP class d... after tat i try to wake up and go for EMC class. wat the fuck... the lecturer said today i got no more to teach.. but not allow us to go.. wat the... our presentation has gone d... sit there and chat.. but i was still blur after vomit out whole nite... then go home d, called my mum and told her , i food poisoning.. then she very fast ask me who fetch u, guy or gal.. ? r u dating..? wat can i answer?? i knw if i answer yes my life will started suffer when go home.. she muz scold me.. then i answered no... but she said " no?" i wonder y i so big d, in university d cant have a bf... y?? as long as i still study . be the good student ma ok lo.. y so kolot wor..... lastime sis study in Kolej, dad also asked y no ppl woo ar? y me is like this wor.. wrong 1 time like punish me forever... so suffer... who to blamed?? my younger brother??? becoz of dating academic drop sharply become me oso cant d??? how about my sis?? mouth said wont bother if dating in uni, did she asked many in front of my mum..? i dunno... i really dunno.. or my mum really smart like that..? haiz... y i can metioned my frens they dating, y myself cant dating...???



pity Apple

fuck u!!

fuck ur face
fuck ur personality
fuck ur behave
fuck u no manner
fuck ur fake!!
yes, is u !! is u!!!!

wow...wow..wow...

assignment is getting lesser.. burden started to release.. all this while.. i am very happy to same group with my PR writing members. a big group and corperate. no stress. a group of frens that support each other. i am very happy.. there are some strong and weak members in the group , but the good thing is i like the strong ppl never arrogant and willing to teach the weak wan. after they have try their best pass up their work if got mistake they use gentle tone to tok to frens and motivate them instead of scold. i love this kind of situation to work.. no blame to others member. yet give support and teach each other.. we discuss in a peaceful condition. no stress in the group. this kind of team work oni can carry out best work. thats what i alwis think that a group success or not, is depends on how the executive process work in task and oso care team member feelings. a best work is not oni evaluate in effeciency of work oni,maintain a good relationship with group members is oso a kind of knowledge.. because when v wana a person change yet v muz have technic in communicate with them. if not v accidentally hurting ppl , insulting them , offended them oni...

Apple

love is blind

i never trusted this concept, yet i have slowly agreed with this d.. v hav argued yesterday.. both of us like earth collide Mars d... so angry.. not understand each other stand.. stand strongly with own stand....
yet, today v seems like ntg.. actually i still angry with him when he din said sorry then chat to me.. but, when the moment he holding my hand when walk to hawker stall to have our dinner.. my fire slowly and slowly off d.. finally.. he tease me again.. exspecialy when he said " elelelele..." stupid me.. sure cant control myself and laugh again.. ish!! no face tim! whahaha!!!
but i knw.. i wont angry him for so long.. u knw y ??? coz of the word of "LOVE"

becoz of love,
i accept the weakness of u
becoz of love
i tolerate to makes both of us happy alwis
becoz of love
i forgot who am i
becoz love
i have no more temper
becoz of love
i have change to dependent
becoz of love
my life full of colours
becoz of love
angry become forgive
becoz of love
2 become 1
becoz of love
v have been together 7 months

although recently i found that v like old couple d, no more excitement created by u.. but in my heart. i think this shown that v have go in the stable stage.

but....!! darling ar~ romantic sometimes in order to carve a smile on me wont take a lot of liquip in ur brain rite ?? bleh~~~

k la, anyway u still the spidy that i love~.
( see, i makes u smile d, elelelele~~ ngo ji zhong yi tai lei gam geh yeong, zha zha dai~~ bleh~)

LOVE u spidy~ (shivering~, luek~)

love,
Mary JAne

tired....

its been 2 months i din touch any seafood and my favurite food d... its all becoz i got so sensitive skin... ellergic .. rashes for 1 month i tot i can no longe eat those pan mee until i almost look like a "pan" d.. then suddenly got 1 scar on my mimi... i got scared... becoz all the symptom i have is totally like breast cancer... then worry.. and sked ... many problem occurred in my mind.. last week i went back home town to c doctor.. while i waiting to go in the room.. i got so nervous.. my heart beat increase... luckily, my dad is blessing me.. i am juz ellergy.. walao eh!! shocked me... after ate for 2 days medicine, my mimi heal 75% d.. luckily... u knw.. i even ever think many non sense and make sense questions ... ermm... how can i live without mimi.. how i going to feed my little cute babies nextime... i love babies so much leh!! whahaha!! luckily ... really.. is like the feeling when v waiting our SPM result release. whaha!!
i have been gone thru the most tough week last week.. a week where nit to submit 3 assignments.. its so tired all this while.. this sem is the sem that i din home for so long.. becoz of all those stupid assignment.. hopefully.. my shoulder could start lighten from now on...
recently i not happy... dunno y.. dun ignore when i sms u.. if busy. at least send bck to me said u are busy k... i will worry wan..

he is near me

haha, my darling was move to westlake again. becoz of the rashes . yeah, v got no more distance between us. and save petrol for him d. previously, when v wana go eat i sure slowly in prepare myself, but now.. he is so near. btw, if walk it is quite far oso. whaha!! anyways, westlake is more facilities than eastlake in my perception la. wah, he received alot of free gift from danish wor. y i dun hav ya? i hav been a tenant here about 1 and half year d. NO free gift geh. protection mattress some more.. anyway, for sure i am the 1 who very happy he is near me la. if he is still in 1434 i more happy, u knw y? becoz i juz nit to walk infront a row and turn left then there is his house already. whahaha!!
yes, the magazine finally have submited to tutor lu~~ my assignment is going to getting less and less. but i still can feel the stress i having now.. u knw how? if u press ur shoulder, u feel pain and hard , this is call stress. its like u carrying a burden on ur shoulder. so massage will be a better way lo. i nit itso much~~~ so tired now.. nitez.. muack~~

学做人

你做事好，可是你做人还是向人学学比较好。。

what can makes me doing so..?

when a person doing something u angry, yet i can forgive...
when a person makes me sad,yet i am received..
when a person makes me cry, i still tok to him the next day once he said sorry...


becoz y....???


becoz i love him....

i'm not happy recently..

i dunno how to tell my feeling.. i am unhappy right now... i juz unhappy ... do u knw y...? did u asked..? or help me solve...? or maybe after tell i will even unhappy ...? or even makes me tink bukan-bukan.. or let u scold coz i like to tink bukan-bukan...? tink bukan-bukan .. mayb juz sked to lost.. but do u knw..? but i knw u angry oni... it is becoz the affair come to me... juz like yesterday... i accident in my hometown... do u knw i am so sked that time.. i dun even shout when i collided... instead shocked by my sis voice... then found that the part of my body seems cant recover... i really so sked... even start to tink how if really happen.. alot and alot of questions start existing in my mind... very unhappy.... worry... then suddenly i received ur msg juz a simple msg.."dun worry, muack" i feel like quite happy coz of ur kiss that already makes me realize u understand wat i tink.. then i telling my heart.. u really knw my worry.. but.. u instead scold me.. do u knw the feeling of that moment... y cant u calm me down not to tink bukan-bukan by giving me some supports.. care... or maybe juz a simple kissing sms.. i already very happy.. yet... wat i get... recently i really very unhappy. u r not dun understand me.. instead u r.. but .. since u knw wat i like to tink and get, y dun u juz show it to me by juz little console or rewards ? do u knw i quite sked about the self-defend that u speak frequently.. but i really ntg can do to change ur mind d... ya, mayb self defend can reduce bully by ppl sometimes.. but.. if facing different person it will become showing us look no manner... i really dunno wat to do.. sometimes.. this makes me feel u r protecting me.. sometimes, i feel this concept frustrated me... since u so understand me, can u read my mind now...? i juz hope u dun too defend for urself or for me.. coz sometimes i feel stress to doing that... sorry... i'm not dun want to tell.. juz that i dunno how to tell.. or maybe i will lose after tell.. coz u sure can using other "reason" to debate and win me... finally.. i seems like din tell... u knw wat.. haha...

unhapppy Apple

i dun understand

i have finish my revision.. but i cant catch what will come out in the exam tmr... hopefully wat i spot will come out lo...

i dun understand wat i study... initially still ok.. when come to lectures 4 then i become very blur... haiz...

god bless me...

i really hope i got a weekend can go home .. its been 6 weeks i din go back Ipoh d.. becoz assignments... discussion.. when i sacrificed my time d.. but sometimes still got ppl go home.. i stay Ipoh oni, y i din go home?? its not becoz a bf in here.. but is i tot i sacrified my time so that assignment can be finished early.. really hope that finished it early so that can meet my mum.. juznw my mum phone me.. asked y i not go home after promised.. suppose this weekend i decide to go home wan.. but i forgot saturday got test... then when i tink back that i nit to rush wat i shud done.. i determinated my decision d... next week??? i tink if i go home will be suffer the whole week... this is y i try to spend my weekend to do discussion. and type my report... since hometown line very mafan...

i oso hope i can like my frens got parents fetch.. got parents come to find them if they din go home.. but i knw my condition.. i wont have this chance...

Apple

3.30am.. again.. i sot liao !!!

.. suppose i slept at 1.30am.. but she slept at 3.15 again... my god !!! I slept at 3.30am like her again.. she not sleep i really cant sleep... u knw...i really so agnry d.. today i woke up , i beh tahan d.. i straight away told i am those kind not enuf sleep will dizzy the next day wan. so i request her to go out study if 2 am like she still study... then she said ok. sigh.. finaly i voice out d.. i wonder y she like so scared i will steal her stuff like that.. she slept oso wana put the key near her on her bed.. my god!!! if local uni, i may do that la,. but then now v r private leh.. this room oni 2 of us got the keys. y still tinking i will steal her stuff like tat.. i already try show her i not scared u steal my stuff becoz i trust u.. but then she alwis locked her cupboard and desk. wah!!! come on... i stay here 1 1/2 year d.., if scare i more scared than u . since i bring alot of things here.. ish... dun wana say d.. go bath 1st. later study..

so lazy...

suppose i am reading something.. but i am so lazy... tmr kuoky will go to ipoh c specialist.. hopefully he will be nothing... next week mid term d.. got 3 test sumore.. sigh... recently i really so lazy.. how? y? sigh... really no idea.. assignment left PR writing. magazine abit.. AV. sigh.. pls la.. i realy do not hope that a work suppose can finish early but then end up like so late ... sigh.. that's y i try finish as soon as posible as every assignment oso nit to hand up in week 10.

i'm so tired to go c doctor again and again...

yesterday me and kuoky went to Kampar Hospital c doctor.. since both of us oso got ellergic nvr recover..i went in the room the doctor asked how long d. i said 2 weeks d..he scolded me y so late oni come. then i told coz i got c doctor , sometimes it come out, somtimes it dun.. finally injection.. me injected on right hand where kuoky injected on left hand.. but kouky got to go Klinic Kesihatan to see doctor again on tmr.. coz at nite the pharmacy closed d.
then today v woke up early.. wait and find... finally v reach... wait again.. c the doctor... she recommend him to go see skin specialist.. in Hospital Besar Ipoh.. Sigh.. v came early ma gud lo.. finally v din cant run away from Skin Specialist.. Kuoky ar Kuoky... what happen to u y u can sick for so long... then MOnday he have to go back there to take letter go Ipoh see Skin Specialist .. his dad will come too.. then gud lo. can accompany him... sigh... becoz of accompany him. i skip my classes today d.. but then, i so tired too .. coz yesterday i oso injected .... how stiff my right yesterday.. sleep oso cant stop the stiffness i have... today wake up early luckily still ok abit.. but ... i really so tired d.. i got little already feel torturing me and my soul .how about him??!... DAD, pls blessing us recover soon... so tiring .. really so tiring ...

Get Well Soon ...

luv,
Mary

i have so pissed off with u d....

its been few days i din have a nice sleep d... my stupid roommate alwis burn the midnite oil.. i wonder y she can alwis study .. early she sleep at 1.30 am.. then 2 am. then now 3 .15am . Wth. i got so pissed off lo.. now u are sharing room with ppl ma. then ,muz be concern about ur roommate oso ... u sleep late but u wake up early becoz of wat ?? wash clothes!!! aiyor~~~ u juz came i dun blaME u so hardworking on ur hschores. but .... u day wash, nite oso wash.. walao!!!! so many clothes meh??? u wask nvm la.. but u wake up early juz to wash clothes. even wake up 2 hours early to wash ur clothes before class. i oso got class wan ma.. u brush ur teeth and go in again wash clothes then go in again bath.. wah!!! then how about i juz spend 15 min to take my bath and to skol??? nit or not.. spend an hour to prepare to skol... geng!! u r very geng!!.. i juz spend 20 minute to prepare for class oni.. aiyor!! u muz be 1st time study at outside.. i wish u cud faster find a nice room to share with ur sis.. i cant bear with ur slow motion. (=.=i).... GOd bless me !!~~ sigh...... since the day u come i have started no nice sleep when i have been dozen off... becoz u come back in the mid nite yet u study again...


sleepless Apple

i hate my work delay becoz of....

suppose i can finish my task early.... but... becoz of some ppl, i cant finish with the time i expected.. i hate... i quite angry.. i angry ppl cant give me the work on the time i set for them... becoz of their late work causes i cant complete the whole task ... i wonder wat u all so busy.. i juz kept listen so busy recently.. but finally there is nothing that i can see wat u have done.. when a leader distributes the task for us.. of coz v cant do it as draft.. wat i want is a complete work not draft. wat for i want the draft? pointless u knw..? v r in university d. r v alwis show the thick face to others, want ppl to push oni v work?? sigh... now i knw y my fren so piss off some of the time... i got others work to complete wan.. pls la...

You 're not alone

U' re not alone

another day has gone
i'm still all alone
how could this be
you're not here with me
you never said goodbye
someone tell me why
did you have to go
and leave my world so cold

everyday i sit and ask myself
how did love slip away
something whispers in my ear and says

that you are not alone
for i am here with you
though you're far away
i am here to stay
but you are not alone
for i am here with you
though we're far apart
you're always in my heart
but you are not alone

]lone lone
]why lone

just the other night
i thought i heard you cry
asking me to come
and hold you in my arms
i can hear your prayers
your burdens i will bear
but first i need your hand
then forever can begin

everyday i sit and ask myself
how did love slip away
something whispers in my ear and says

that you are not alone
for i am here with you
though you're far away
i am here to stay
for you are not alone
for i am here with you
though we're far apart
you're always in my heart
for you are not alone

whisper three words and i'll come running
and girl you know that i'll be there
i'll be there
you are not alone
for i am here with you
though you're far away
i am here to stay
for you are not alone
for i am here with you
though we're far apart
you're always in my heart
for you are not alone
for i am here with you
though you're far away
i am here to stay
for you are not alone
for i am here with you
though we're far apart
you're always in my heart
for you are not alone...

luv,
MAry JANE

i got rashes again..

i gto rashes again when i wake up in the morning.. today my class suppose start at 11pm. but i nit to photostate my resource to my group leader, then i got to wake up early due to yesterday i receiving the msg is been too late d.. so i set my time to wake up early.. after woke up wash my face. but Edward sms me said class canceled and mid term delay to week 8. oh my God. week 8 got 1 presentation and 3 mid term leh!!. so scared lo. this sem really become tougher... 3 subject with 4 credit hours..and oso those i no confident in it... now, my hands and legs got rashes again.. i wonder is it our emotional can affect my body condition... i juz knw.. i got so sad yesterday nite... cried like hell...... not dare to tink wat happen in the next... my heart like million needles pierce thru it.. bleeding seriously.... i start hate myself.... i hate.... i hate the weak of me...

i oso got rashes

finally , i oso got rashes.. that's not wat i hope. becoz i knw once my skin ellergic it can be turn very bad and serious.. the rashed started yesterday nite. today i went to class then break time went to toilet, oh my god!! my "pet pet" got rashs. so itchy . then i told myself muz go see doctor tonite. but after all the classes today and took my bath. my rashes become lesser. then i asked kouky how to prove to doctor i really got rashes seriously in this morning. he said juz go in cases tmr it come out again. so ultimately i got medicine to control it. now better d. and i out calamine lotion d.
so funny, i really can't believe that my body condition same like him. wat i sensitive he also sensitive. whahaha. is this called match or fate? hehe.. hopefully both of us get well soon. whahaha!!!

he got rashes????!!!

Its been 5 days his body got rashes.. i wonder y it sometimes come out but sometimes not.. quite worry... the problem is y his dad oso got.. what is that?? family genes???

tired.. i am so tired...

i dunno how to describe my feeling... my life have turn back to the day i got roommate.. today v din chat whole day d... next monday will be my hard news submission date.. but i dunno wat to write about.. tmr i will use tmr to finish the whole assignment... recently, busy with assignments.. really tiring... i trying my best to finish all my part which has distributed to me... i said i really trying my best to edit it. change in passive form. so that tutor wont think that i copy.. i shud admit my english is not as strong as i wish.. actually my mind is full of alot idea. i can say sometimes my mind can pop out many idea when group member want me give idea for the assignment.. but... i dunno how to interpret it.. now i understand v cant weak in english.... or strong in english but oso no idea. how about both oso weak? this will be very tiring for the group members i tink... i dun like to waste time if in a discussion at the end is no product come out.. that's y in every discussion i oso faster doing my part and submit to my group leader. and oso hope that this action can lead other members to do their parts.. dun want other member stay juz to wait the rest of the member to finish their part but actually v finished our part.. i'm not saying that i'm a perfect group member.. but , at least i wish every1 spending their busy life time to come for dicussion there is something to come out, since evy1 oso nit to complete our own assignment.. thats y punctuality to start a discussion is very important..

Apple, gambateh ba~~!!

i lost my freedom to use a room d..

today..when i decide to go eat diiner with my darling... got ppl knock the door and said want to move in. waht the hell man, they bring a bunch of frens to negotiate with me..ish!! want move this and that. i explain and explain. then after i bought my rice , they come again....!! more frens this time!! my darling not around somemore !!finally.. all my furniture not same the position d.. totally seperate like hell. ish!!. haiz... finally i have freely using the room widely for 1 year... wat a chicken she is!!! wat she want not dare to tell at all. all she frens help to voice out!. come on! sekarang bully me ar??!! k, fine.. finally they want the bed seperate then i oso not weak as u all think. u all want seperate but i want the position which my table muz stick with my bed. so i got nonit to take the position which open the door will bang the bed that suck place. but i have chose a place which oni got 1 plug lo... sigh.. need to buy stuff d..
no more our world d.. luckily still my darling.. haha.. if i beh tahan with this gal i can go to his house... kekekek!!!!
bleh!!! bully me la!! i got more new rules to u tim ar!!

老师的赞赏与关怀，就是我的肯定。

谁不曾怀疑自己的实力，
谁不想得到老师对我们的肯定？

虽然自己已选择了自己的科系，难免也会怀疑自己的能力。每次的toturial都希望自己的功课得到老师的肯定，因为这样我才不会怀疑我是否走错路。
今天我问老师assignment的问题。过后老师问我跟得上吗，明白吗。她看见我的疑问？？我就说我有不明我去找她，她说真的吗？哈哈，其实有很多时候我很想找的。只是开学的时候她说她是非常忙。所以，当有疑问时我就会在上完课问咯。不过，我很开心咯，因为今天老师解决了我一直想问的问题。我也与他分享了我在报纸所发现的东西，就是这个过程她那鼓励的方式让我肯定了自己。
我就是这样，这两年来对自己缺乏了信心。隐藏了的就没爆发力，无法呈现。
繁忙的生活充实了自己。累积的功课也无形被了压力。然而最近的我就是缺少了动力。
做起事来就是力不从心了。人生真的需要有人给你肯定。就如：

学业~
爱情~
功绩~

这一切的一切我都在努力。。

孩子上

i have no power to work in this sem..

New sem have been started 3 weeks.. but i still so blur .. weeks 6 have to pass up 3 assignments.. this sem alot assignments to be done. most of the subj oso nit 2 projects.. if oni 1 project that's the assignment have to be done in very big group.. this sem time become so flexible. even when v same tutorial doesn't mean that v will same lecturer. this is the most messy for us... dunno y.. i feel like i still cant match with the new group members. i got lost my motivation.. do u knw i am still blur in certain lectures i attented until now.. 1st is the public opinion.. sometimes i really interested in the course i took. but wen come to different kind of lecturer to teach eventually it will turn out to be something different.. even the projector may oso the problem causes us no mood to listen in the class. u knw where? is DDK1. i hate that class. too big.. and the projector so lousy... frens, if u found out that i have been lazy. pls, do remind me. scold me... sigh....
today is Father's day.. i wish i could have 1 more chance to express myself.. but sometimes.. something is no take 2 in our life. wat's that? is life no take 2.. mayb v might said that love our daddy nonit to wait for father's day to show our feeling.. but sometimes, or ordinally do v really dare to show our love to our dad? if ur dad is the kind of strict 1? so, Father's day or certain season needed for us to express our love. becoz v not dare or shy to show our love to our dad usually. juz a call, it will carve a smile on ur dad's face. he din show doesn't mean he not care. shud v say becoz our dad work for the family even forgot today is Father's day acutally? thats y a simple phone juz to tell him no matter how tough his work yet its worth becoz his children appreciate him. it is so warm and melted his heart~
Dear, today is father's day but ur dad give u a call early in the morning asked u need bookshelf or not. i really never see a father care their son like this. nit dictionary, juz a call next week the dictionary arrived. need to verify ur certificates then he go find ppl to verify it. these kind of thing normally v settle ourselves 1. but ur dad help u. u can see how fortune u r now ? u really full of care and love. DO appreciate him.. juz alwis remind urself why the age for him to retire but he still working. then u will remember his sacrifice is all for his children~ nah, dun say i lo sor ar~ bleh.. mayb man is a kind of animal not easy to express feeling.. hehehe... Happy Father's day to everyone~!!!

Dad, Happy Father's Day~ muack! u there???!

love,
your daugther forever.

Kampar so hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As u all knw, i left last paper which is EP. i havent finish my studies now.. so hot.. Kampar is so hot!!! i cant memorize and stuck in chapter 9, i have left 2 more chapter then i can said gud bye d.. but.... its hard to memorize leh!!!!!!!!!. i really so angry now... wish to home soon.. so scold my youngest bro... while i studying, my mind just appear how my bro bad jobs. really wish to slap kau kau him.. nvr wake up.. lets see i go home wat u will get from me if u still the same stupid like hell!!!. ish!!!! geram betul ni!!!!! so hot .... yeah!!! monday soon.!! yeah!!! i can go home treat them to eat steamboat.. ermm.. steamboat or chops leh??? let them choose la, still the spending is almost the same oso.. hehe... pls, remind me to pay my student bill ar!! i really keep on forgot leh... ish!!!

no mood suddenly

suddenly, i very no mood.. wish to cry... my sensitive or my emotional problem...?? i really not happy now... trying to listen to music... haiz.. am i the bird which fly againt the group?? when i become like this....??? fly.... flying....

insomia.... dear, i'm so afraid...

i have started to sleep from this morning 8am... i am so afraid at nite... although i was dizzy... i wish to study but dizzy... so give uo to study d... slept until 4.30 pm something.. i hate my time become so messy... i dunno how to arrange it back with this scary condition... 1 more paper to go.. i wish that day can faster come to me.. then i pack all my stuff then go back have a nice holiday... so bad my sis told me they have went to celebrate mother's day yesterday d... at Kimbarly again.. but i not around... my eldest bro come back d.. today his frens come to visit and stay in my house.. i wish to go back.. as soon as possible... actually i plan to go home since thursday... but i knw.. go home sure cant study... the day is changing dark again... i tink i will going to insomia again.. dear... so miss u.... i so afraid in here.. the house is so quiet.... i dun like this... all foundation students went back d... left me and the room beside... so silent.. so dangerous... so sked.... i hate here... i want go home.... faster come the test... i hate here from now.... y not finish early.. become v left 2 weeks + to rest oni... i hate.....

luv,
lonely Apple

is it the reason which is last paper??

i really blur now.. i plan to study now.. yet.. i writing my blog... today i slept until evening... but.. i still so blur now... i feel like not dare to study in the mid nite... the room is hot... i open the side window.. my table exactly opposite the other row of room.. so dark.. i afraid to look at there.. seeing my shwdow blurry.. now i understand.. i shud appreciate the nite with u... then i not afraid to study at mid nite... now.. alot ppl going back becoz they have finished final.. luckily the rrom beside me end exam with in the same day.. the house not noisy like before... i so afraid.. i knw i have too depending on u d.. got insects, u there.. got shocked , u there.. my god... shud i sing "without u " this song??? whahaha!!!.. i start dizzy d... see.. the day without u i cant stand long during mid nite... how fortune i got u wen i study until mid nite and there is a person deliver supper to me... get stress go yum cha with me.. although this subject no essay.. but juznow i saw is alot to memorize... dunno wat i aim can achieve or not.. i think this subject really the strong subject to pull up my CGPA... PR , after i recall back... i realized i did miss alot mark.... haiz... not much expectation on it , just hope that it could pass then is enuf... and PM... walao eh!! now start to sked d... dunno y.. this sem i started to put high expectation on my CGPA... is it called i have been mature?? no, its juz that i feel if i din get the expectation means i'm weak... its is a must.. and at this level v shud get 3.0 above... 2nd class honour... is juz 3.0 ...i wonder y foundation i couldnt get it.. it is so normal.. y shud proud off?? get 1st class honour then oni consider geng!!. is this level now v hav already how far v can reach oni?? no... its not... v can do it better... even more than that .... aim high.. get high.. although i used to say
"no dream is too high, no journey is too far"... this phare is for those who alwis dream so high then oni can use... so that they wont stress themselve.. but .. do i ???
now i knw y this phare coming out from a doctor's mouth... coz they alwis dream too high..

I swear~!!!!

DEAR : SPidermaN~

I swear ! 我发誓！
By the moon & the stars in the skies.当着天上的星星月亮
And I swear ! 我发誓！
Like the shadow that's by Ur side.如同守候你的背影
I see the questions in Ur eyes.我看见你眼中闪烁着疑问
I know what's weighing on Ur mind.也听见你心中的忐忑不安
U can B sure I know my part.你可以安心,我很清楚我的脚本
'Cause I'll stand beside U through the years.在往后共渡的岁月里
U'll only cry those happy tears.你只会因为喜悦而流泪
And though I'd make mistakes.即使我偶尔会犯错
I'll never break Ur heart.也不会让你心碎

And I swear ! 我发誓！
By the moon & the stars in the skies.当着天上的星星月亮
I'll be there.我必在你左右
I swear ! 我发誓！
Like the shadow that's by Ur side.如同守候你的背影
I'll be there.我必在你左右
For better or worse.无论丰腴困厄
Till death do us part.至死不渝
I'll love U with every beat of my heart!我用我每个心跳爱你
I swear ! 我发誓！

I gove U everything I can.我愿给你一切我所能给的
I'll build Ur dreams with these two hands.用双手为你筑梦
We'll hang some memories on the walls.将最美好的回忆挂在墙上
And when(And when)Just the two of us are there.当你我独处
U won't have 2 ask if I'd still care.你不在对我的爱存疑
'Cos as the time turns the page.任时光荏苒
My love won't age at all.我的爱永不老去

And I swear(I swear)! 我发誓！
By the moon & the stars in the skies.当着天上的星星月亮
I'll be there.我必在你左右
I'll be there.我必在你左右

I swear(And I swear)! 我发誓！
Like the shadow that's by Ur side.如同守候你的背影
I'll be there.我必在你左右
I'll be there.我必在你左右
For better or worse.无论丰腴困厄
Till death do us part.至死不渝
I'll love U with every beat of my heart!我用我每个心跳爱你
And I swear ! 我发誓！

I Swear(I swear)! 我发誓！
By the moon & the stars in the skies.当着天上的星星月亮
I'll be there.我必在你左右
I'll be there.我必在你左右
Like the shadow that's by Ur side.如同守候你的背影
And I swear ! 我发誓！
I'll be there.我必在你左右
I'll be there.我必在你左右
For better or worse.无论丰腴困厄
Better Or Worse.丰腴困厄
Till death do us part.至死不渝
Oh ! No ! 哦,不！
I'll love U with every single beat of my heart.我用我每个心跳爱你！
And I swear,I swear,I Swear ! 我发誓！

LUV,
mARY jAne

i have finished my PR paper with tiring body

finally i have finished my PR paper.. ermm... can answer lo... i am so tired yesterday.. i force yself to finish the revision as soon as possible... but i left 1 chapter.. then today almost over slept luckily 7am i woke up d.. can read the oni left chapter... silly me, last nite i reading then look at the calender , so silly !! i tot i got 2 days in between the last paper.. is not! is containing 3 days to read!!. god bless me!!. today i can totally rest for recovering my body. my psychology's frens they finished the paper today d... i wish to go home.. what am i going to do in saturday without kuoky to accompany me to yum cha!!!??? the will very boring lo!!! then i started to sleep early no mid nite revision lo?? watever la. the last paper is the subject i put alot expectation on it , wish to get B above .. ermmm.... hopefully lo.... is it impossible for a computer illiterate to answer paper with computer stuff ??? so sui my eldest bro, said " y a computer illiterate get high mark in midterm?? is it typing words oni??!!?" very sui is it??? haha!! but i oso wonder y midterm i score that mark too.. hehehe.... gud luck gua.. enuf sleep is very important .. i found that if i not enuf sleep , what i study eaqually to zero.. becoz i really cant pop out during the examination ... so, i got my body condition d... which is muz rest no matter how far i could go!!.

luv,
sick Apple

i am not happy... i'm sick.........

thursaday will be my PR paper... this the subject i sked the most... yet... today woke up, i feel no energy... feel cold... wenever i go.... i started to sick d... now.... i feel my body so warm.... but environment so cold.... i took 2 tables of panadol justnw d....
i am unhapy now.. i dunno how to decribe my feeling now.... so sad.... everytimes the same i get... wish to cry out loud... maybe today i slept for so long d.. now feel like very energitic..... but, i do not wish to study d.. coz if i study now, i'm sure i will fall down.. tmr then i will be no more energy to study .... i dun want fail this subject... i dun want see lecturer anymore.... so stress......... y alwis i wana fall sick kuoky sure have to go home ...??? sigh....................................................

PM subject down.

finally, i have been finish my PM paper... this paper really suck all my energy... becoz the day before exam.. i almoz din sleep... nvr try before.. and never try again.. so suffer the whole day.... in the mid nite. i almoz pengsan.... ultimately... din come out wat i study in essay part.... ish!!! geram betul....! once finished the test.. i quickly go pack my food and eat ... then i start to rest... i have slept for 5 or 6 hours in the evening...... then went to eat my dinner straight away.. recently my time really become so messy... my mind oso.... hey ladies and gentlemen, i have started to tire again... i am so tired...... wish to finish all my subjects as soon as possible... then take a long long break.... i am so tired.... its mentally and physically.... damn tired.... luckily.... all this while got u beside me to support me .... if not i wont be got the strong will power to study in the mid nite.... thanks kuoky~ muack! all the best for ur exam too!!..

sigh... its too late..

just wake up, u knw wat time i woke up today? is 3.30pm... my god. my tme is being so messy now.. all my principle lost.... today is just thursday, saturday will be the PM exam.. my god.... feel like not much time to study geh..... where my principle to my study d???? concentrate???? although PM got 50 objective questions.. but objective question alwis the 1 i die fast.... ish!!!! i start to worry d... i want my time back.... my room.... sob...sob....

1 subject down.

finally i have started my 1st paper.. yesterday i very relax , dunno y.. not fully prepared la. but this is my 1st time that i dare to go yum cha and th next day got exam... maybe i have prepared wat i shud be ... but went home .. i rewrite the essay again.. then finally i do this and that 5 am oni then i start to sleep.. recently i have been train sleep at 5 am d.. not study.. is i went to yum cha come back still full not dare to sleep.. plus, the weather here really torture me recently ... luckily, today rain d!!!!. so windy now. ermmm... today i just slept for 3 and 1/2 hours then attend to exam hall d.. luuckily, what i want did pop out in the exam answer sheet. whahah!!. hopefully can get a B at least lo.. the next paper will be Pengajian Malaysia.. this is 1 of the paper i sked the most... tok about history this kind of thing... then the history will be changed when after answer my paper.. hahaha!!.
today is oso zying's birthday. dear my best fren. HAPPY BIRTHDAY and may all your dreams come true!! this is important rite?? whahah! muakz~~ xoxoxoxoxo....

luv,
Apple

study week no mood study

i have been come back from Ipoh for four days. but Kampar is so hot, i really no mood to study at all... erm... dunno y maybe the time still not nearer to the exam date i will not feel the excited. whahaha... is not i fully prepared, is i still havent doing any preparation.. whahaha... maybe i feel like the timetable for the exam is having enuf time time for the preparation gua... cant imagine i already finish my 1st sem in year 1.. this sem really so tired... going back to hometown oso less d.. really wish to have a long holiday to rest my brain... and body.. ermm... wat am i doing ?? havent exam already wana to holiday... alalalala~~~

dunno wat to do.

ermmm... actually i dunno wat to write... this few days my self-esteem become more and more low.. wenever i get bak the confident little bit... happy again.. sure something pull me down again... ish...! Utar having a new law which v nit to arrange our time table by own in the next sem... ermmm... dunno is it a gud thing or bad thing... bad thing have to spend time to arrange it before final, and v may not same class with our frens . gud thing?? can said v choose to be with the frens v want in the assignment group. or the frens v wish to join gua. yet very mafan. final is gonna coming soon... feel like so tough to me compare with lastime.. this time i feel how important of every subjects i am taking... alot of subjects i no confidents...
is this world fair??? i ever received a comment from other ppl, she said world is unfair. social life is more terrible.. now i realize.. really unfair.. unless i fight till very tough.. who is my enemy... myself.. i wish i can win myself.. the problem now is ... i dunno wat target i shud set for myself... become i choose to compare and contrast no matter in where... finally i even lost myself... lost the lower target i set.... sigh....

headache whole day ,my 1st own story book.

sigh.... today from afternoon until now, i having headache... ish!! so suffer u knw.. then kuoky come back from KL. Alamak, he got FLU... so sked infected lo.. but really so touch wood lo. really infected d..... after morning PR class.. v met Marcus in the cross junction. then v date to have our breakfast together.... crap and crap then they nit to go class... i rest a while then went to group discussion... tired u knw.... after that come bak sleep again then start to headache d.. til now still having it..
hehe, i got the book which bought by kouky's cousin d, i so happy the open and see. "my god" so many words... honestly, i really seldom read story book, thats y i read book very slow ... tink this is the time to train myself d. since they treat me and wana help with sincere , then i accept it and oso wont waste it.. btw, the book name" little women". look familiar that i may seen before. haha... u knw how many story in the this thin little book? is 23 stories ar!!! haha.. since sembreak coming soon , so this is the tme that i nit to improve my english d.. ermmm... although this is wat i uses to do wen i was in secondary skol... wen tok about holidays.. i really sked.. coz the 1 st day of the holiday my dad must be said" holidays read story book and learn some new vocabulary. so, it become a must d.. wenever holiday come i sure took a book copy down the words then find meaning after that test myself.. so wen come to the end of holidays quite alot words i learn oso. juz that this time i nit to read a book which contain alot alot alot words.... scary.... but.. my heart is happy. coz i'm not oni get love and care from kuoky but oso from his relatives.kekekekekekek~~~!!!! "little women" here i come..
sometimes feel quite guity. coz my home oso got a lot such story book which placed in the cupboard but i seldom read.. wah, really alot u knw... all given by my 2nd aunt... whole set of children "DIsney" story.. and many mystery that kind of story books... my home money not much. but if tok about books i can said i am rich of books at home.

New

hey frens, this is the new look of my blogskin.. dunno i like or not actually.... i juz feel like wana change something new.. but my heart is still the same... juz like how i loving and stuborn in love...
actually i am waiting a sms from u while i choosing my new blogskin... but i din received from u.. nah, jangan sombong k. bleh!!!!!!!!!!!~
wen i choosing the layouts, i feel like alot i dun like.. but wen i feel that's the 1 i want , but becoz of my greedy and concept "i will find a better 1" finally i cant find bak the nice blogger layout d.. in this little affair i even realize "when found the true d, dun simply release, dun greedy." ya, this wat i holding in my relationship now. hehe... after chat with a fren, i feel better d. coz i knw wat a guy is.. whahaha!!!
dun worry dear, dun tink bukan-bukan like me.our heart are same. which is loving each other very much. bleh~ (dun look others) is u la!!~.
frens, in the process i choosing the layout . i found sometimes wat i want but wen apply to me which is not suitable. becoz i finding a blogskin which can easier my frens to read thru.. so, how was it now? nice and comfort to read or not? if not, leave me comment, then i change a better 1. hehe..
dunno y , today i lost my appetite. nw i knw.. our mood will really makes ppl lost of appetite.. but y i suddenly no mood d??? i wonder too... mayb.... k la, tmr 8am class. got to sleep d... so tired .... darling...... sigh... nites... stupid piggy. bleh!!

luv,
Mary

tired weekend

today is sunday, dunno y i alwis get tired easily.. i start to tink am i kena diabetic.?? maybe get fat and chubby d... sadz.... this is call stress or happy?? ppl said stress doesn't oni causes thin yet will oso causes fat.. ish!! u lo. mayb spiderman alwis bring me eat supper..
my mum birthday coming soon, but the day she birthday. i will having exam. so yesterday i bring her to celebrated . haha, i fetched her to "my point" finally i can make sure the name d is "my point not The point" whahaha!!!! silly me, ermm.. this restaurant makes me think back how i celebrated my 1st valentine day with my love 1. kekekekeke!! +p since my youngest brother go eat steamboat then sis have to dating so, yay!! save!! i treat mum enuf. haha, ermmm.... v tried the new chop which i din eat lastime . my chop got speggeti with chicken chop, while my mum 1 got small mushroom... ermmm... since my hp cant took photo .. so , i cant show u all wat v have eat. really so full!! luek!! even my mum oso said so full!!! gud gud gud !! becoz in my mum concept. much is worth. whahahah!!! luckily, it was delicious... haha, mum, this is how i celebrated ur birthday 1st. pls, wrote down i did treat u ar. bleh~~~ then i went to Jusco and shop with my mum.. so tired u knw... no1 help me drive...
final exam coming soon... dunno wat will i get this time... i juz knw that before i goin to my final i did fall down deeply, even cried for 2 times becoz my studies... this is 1st time i ever been really stress till cried. hopefully.... my wish come true.

Dear, u r the 1 i worry the most besides my study. let's give it our all for our study k~? v fight together !! all the Best to u in the final ~ muack! its time to study d.

luv,
Apple

my heart is such like million of needles pierce through it.

i am not happy..... i knw i have been very fortunate to meet u.... dunno y.. this week v like more argue d.. or shouldn't say argue.. mayb v have different point of view....... whenever v argue for 1 simple thing ... ya, u will still coax me... and i knw ur heart is true to me.... but.... i dunno y .... my heart start to afraid... afraid of wat...? tink u also understand.... ya... cant deny that i have put alot into this relationship d.. cant even retreat...... instead step even more deeper... and mayb due to this i very care of little tiny thing that v going thru.... even... u tok abit loudly to me i will oso tink that u scolding me..... i knw do u ntg wrong sometimes.... u have tolerance in this relationship.... yet.... i cant control my bad temper.... even wat u tink on last few days ago it was oso wat i afraid the more... i knw u and me also worrying the same thing... even v can tinking till dropping tears.... like u did .... u knw? i am so scared.... i really so scared....... although i knw u wont do that to me... yet i cant stopping myself not to think that question.... not i no confidence on u..... i trust u .. but i am gal... sure will tink bukan-bukan.... can u make me stop tinking that silly question...?? u knw.. wen i knw u asking urself that question i already started to tink nonsense till today d... i really so afraid ......... see, how important u r now even makes me crying wen typing this blog...... becoz of wat?? coz i really so care and scared....... sob....sob..... i hate this week of wat v have been thru....... becoz this week was the week that v have been go thru so long since now which v have many different opinion ....
Apple here to say SORRY OF MY BAD TEMPER ALWIS.

silly MARY JANE

suck mood !!

i dunno how to describe wat in my heart now. i am damn so fucking bad bad mood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its seem slike a big gas stuck in my throat where i which to shout out loudly!!!!!!!!!!!! so tired !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am so tired!!!!!!!!! feel like my mind got a lot problem i wish to tell yet dunno how to tell.. i wish go yum cha badly now. but kuoky damn tired coz this evening he drove to Ipoh again to visit David. if makan to make me happy. later kuoky suffer i rather choose not to go out d. wat person he is , kena hujan little will fall sick .more faster than me. i am so bad mood now. as i said dun come kacau me when i got period. if not u r 1 of the victim let me fuck u damn badly. WWH, i am so mang zang u knw !!!??? i want shout d!!!!!!!!!!!! stupid right eye, i tell u stop "jumping"!!!!!! u made me v very worry u knw!!! is it anything will happen?? pls la, get off from me!!!!!
................sigh................... luckily, din get barred .

week 13

is already step to week 13... i dunno y this sem fast like hell... i feel like i havent absorp all wat lecturer taught to us.... i nvr tasted i nit to present until week 14.... it is really a tough life wen the 1st day i started my degree life... i juz get my ptptn ... feel like alot of things i need to buy... sigh... coz last time i alwis said wait ptptn 1st... but cant imagine that wen the ptptn loan cm.. my god , is alot i nit to buy.... tok about tis loan quite suck!!! wait almoz 3 moths oni get it... c.. my 1st sem almoz finished tim ar... this sem i got 4 subject counting in CGPA. but pengajian Malaysia not include yet related in my PTPTN stuff... haiz... this the matter i afraid the most.. since i knw no matter how i study i oso wont get highest mark in history such subject.. yet..i wont easily to give up not till the ending point.. this is the Apple who alike with her dad. kekekekeke!!! tmr PR presentation d... hopefully i can handle it well and get back all the marks i lost in midterm lo... dad, bless me ar. hehe... bleh.... tired lo.. nitez~~~~

go Ipoh watch movie..

today, kuoky so desperate to watch movie in cinema.. in the afternoon he wish to watch Shinjuku incident but.....!!! he give up d to watch d. coz mandarine version. whahaha!! then nvm lo. rest awhile in the room. then received a msg from ting yi siad that ptptn fund bank in d. yeah!!! i quickly go public bank and check. i told kuoky if really get ptptn then tonite go watch movie.. hehe. then i lead him to ipoh to a place which very famous fishball noodle. haha.. finally i got chance to let him taste y i so love fishball in Ipoh d.. besides, there is oso a local stall famous in beef soup noodles.. so , of coz let him taste la. hehe...
after that, go to jusco to see wat movie to watch at 1st, v give up to watch d.. but when i seek for my stuff, the gan jeong kuoky kept calling me by asking this and that. aiya dear, up to u la. i seldom watch in cinema oso. then go met him in outside the cinema . haha. wait about 45min oni start the movie. ya, the movie v watch is "fast and furious 4" hehe... this is the 1st time i go cinema watch movie with him since v date till now.. then... watch and watch ... not bad leh!! hehe... then after the movie finished v went to McD to eat supper. then end the journey tonite.
recently, i really found i very "hang fuk" even "fat fuk". u lo!! bring me here and there to eat... my god........ fat d "ga mm cuk " sob... sob... then u shud take the resposibility d... blehhhhh~~~~ whahaha!! this is called "set lunch" in love life... whahahahahaha!!!!!
sleepy...... its time to sleep d.. tmr got class some more... sigh...

luv,
Apple

my birthday

its been long time i din update my blog.. becoz recently i busy with my assignment, and many... hmm.. tok about my birthday this year.. then i shud start on 30th night..

30th March..

after the discusssion.. my group members said stay while to chit chat.. then i ma follow lo.. but after tat i said wana go home d.. they luk lik very "gan jeong" ...very funny is the Evin.. kept play the door and light.. actually can guess la. hehe... the light suddenly off.. a gang of my foundation best frens come in.. wow!! so surprice !! 1more surprice is y the spiderman taking the cake too?? whahaha!! then did like wat i birthday gal shud do every year lo..make wish, blow candle.. then of tease by them lo. use mouth to bite the candle out from the cake. suddenly a handpushed from behind. MY GOD!!! kena d!!! is Zi Ying.. notty la u. then seperate the cake lo. wow!! i would like to said i love the cake very much , coz cookies flavour. it is a cheese cake . yum ~yum~ btw thanks for Evin bought a delicious cake in this party. ermmm.... since i havent get the picture from my fren i cant share wat happening in Yong Ren's house tat nite. here i would like to thanks Evin, Zi ying, yong ren, sue ean, poh yee, kean tat, wenny, wen jye, ken,venus and oso the silly spiderman join wat their plan lo.. bleh~~ after the party every1 go home and i go home with kuoky , but kuoky said he got something to discuss with frens.. then i alone in hostel..
until 11.30pm i start to sleepy d.. since tat day i din take nap at all. then sent mg to kuoky said i sleepy. but the stupid kouky said he is having the supper d. walao, then wat to do let him be lo. plus, i knw something weird tat nite.. coz this fellow nvr dare to do this to me since i did asked got yum cha or not 1st... ceh. whahah!!!

31st March...

then wait till 12.35am.. i beh tahan d.. coz really sooooooooooooooooo sleepy.... then sent a msg to him finish yum cha then come coz i nit to sleep d.. then after tat i go toilet to chage my sleeping costume.. but i heard DEV and IAN sound.. so i din change my cloth d.. bleh!!! then the silly spiderman tot he giving surprise. then actually all his plan is expected.. whaha!! he even use a so lame lie to me said he forgot to bring key wor.. whahahaha!! so lame!!! k lo, then i ma match his lame plan lo. bleh~~~~~ anyway.. wen i went downstair.. whahaha!!! DEV gang come out and taking a fruit cake sang birthday song .. whaha.. this can consider i listen to birthday 2 times in a nite. then still the same la. blow candle and so on.. then DEV suddenly teased kuoky and said walao no present pula. ceh... whahah!! then i observe his reaction whaha!!. going to Dev's behind taking a big red plastic bag with Esprit brand... wow! than they demand for picture. silly us, took like miss world get award on the stage. bleh~~ then go to mamak to eat the cake lo.. wahahaha!! u knw ghany's boss treat me tat day. wen v wana pay he asked who birthday tonite. i belanja her. whaha!! yeah!! free maggie goreng and teh O ice limau. kekekeke~~



this is the fruit cake which kuoky consider so long before he buy.. whaha~

this the bag i tot got bra inside (=.=")

luckily is a bag! whahaha!! silly me (^.^)


1st April


a tired day... 2 presentations... then went bak to hostel prepared for my ipoh journey.. hehehe.. actually plan to eat steamboat.. finally left me and kuoky go and eat Kenny Roger's roaster chicken hehe.. then walk and walk.. bought Big Apple a box of 12 donuts. hehe.. this 1 my 1st time i taste Big Apple donuts. so delicious!!! many flavour v bought.. then go bak to Kampar asked Dev them to yum cha eat donuts together.. hehe.. after yum cha go bak hostel to watch the ending episode of the movie.. so.. ladies and gentleman, this how i celebrated my birthday in 3 days 2 nites. whahahaha!!!

hehe, this the picture b4 going to Ipoh. whahaha!!


this the Big Apple donuts tat Kuoky bought

specially for u , spiderman~

dear spiderman,

thank you very much that supporting me this few days when i so depress.. i knw u r very worry about my studies as i also worry yours.. i am so touch of what u have done to me. although u r not around me this few days... after u knw i get the mark not wat i expected in my PR course.. i see in my eyes, felt with my heart... u ask advice from ur cousins.. yesterday at nite u called me.. i got so shocked.. becoz u called me juz want to say wat ur cousin teach me. although i have been force to speak english with u in the following days. but i am happy with it. coz i got a chance to improve my poor english.. u even said get me a book to let me read everyday... tat moment u knw wat i tink? is happy and sad too. hehe.. coz force to read book ma.. but i happy u so care me u knw..? not oni u, but oso ur cousins.. whahaha, i wonder is it u demand ur cousin to help me lo. but i am so happy yet so sked.. i happy coz i got a great senior tat i wish to have before.. sked is i worry i will bother them as she graduated, and she got her works and stress. and i sked i disappointed them if i din do well... but i am strongly agree with ur cousin which study smart nt too hard.. tats wat i learning now too... hehe...

dear, i really feel so fortune to meet u. do u believe this is called god arrangement?? i believe wan... i believe if i be kind, god will give reward to me 1 day later.. so now, i got u.. although i got hurted before start with u.. luckily , i met u.... i really nvr believe that v din argue since v started. r v success?? v shud be proud rite?? hehe... coz v apply tolerance, care and understanding in this relationship.. i really feel the love u pour to me everyday.. i hope u wont be lazy to pour or feel bored to pour the love to me in the future...hehe..bleh~ but, 1 thing for sure... u really so sayang me.. even out of my expectation.. do u remember the nite i cried infront of u telling u "i sked u will like my ex bf, juz short term relationship.. 1 week? or juz few months? " u said "is entire life.." ( crying again (,=.=ii) ) see, i nvr forgot wat u said wan.. dun lie to me ar. really thank you very much.. thanks for accept the whole of me.... u really not said to coax me oni.. u really prove to me d....
dear, sometimes i was thinking alone... i alwis asking myself if v so close to each other everyday, will we feel bored in the future? is it will become bored to face each other? but recently i found that i not used to the day without u beside me instead.. i become so depends on u d.. coz i felt i got a person that i really can rely on.. and tats u... i dunno wat will happen in the future.. but i believe our future will full of joys and excitements. hehe.... coz i like to tease u... whahaha...i had writen a blog said tat gal is easy to say "i love u". but i believe u will tink u hard to listen these 3 words from me rite? whahahaha!! and u oso can count how many times i said to u. is juz one. hehe..i wonder y i hard to say so. mayb the least the thing is, the more valuable .. so now, u knw who so valuable?? whahahaha!!!!

A magnificent scenery is formed by mAny Fragments
every fraGments playing important roles ,
My Picture had been lost a piEce of Fragment before,
Today the Fragment come back to me,
and i realize tHat,
it is Nt a Fragment aNymOre,

it is My PUZZLE.

luv,
Mary Jane

boring saturday..

yesterday after chat with a fren. afta cried i start my chinese assigngment d... in the moment i doing my assignment... my fren told me the mark is over 15%.. wat the hell.. said early ma... i tinking am i weak till tat stage.... then nvm la.. as long as i knw.. this the effort how much i paid and how much i get.... mayb my lecturer put high expectation on us its oso juz wana to help us in the future... apple, gambateh.. sometimes really felt my will power quite same like my dad.. but my dad not easy to give up easily . i shud learn from him.. but.. finally i used 3 hours until 2.30am to finished my part in my chinese assignment.. so i got no worry d.. juz left Electronic publishing and PR assignment... today.. i do ntg in the room... woke up early in the morning then went to class.. then went to eat alone.. after tat went bak to my hostel watch movie and sleep.. i set the alarm 1 hour b4 the class at 6pm later. after wake up boil water and eat maggi then go class. but, suddenly raining d.. sigh... no1 can fetch me to class. so...? skip lo.. wat to do... ? i wonder y i so tired recently.. juz like this afternoon i slept 4 hours d. now still very tired and not even start any revision.. hehe... saturday ma.. off 1 day lo. kekekekek... so i watch drama .. tmr la..
sometimes i felt i so useless... i alwis care the other half examination but i am the 1 get bad result instead... so guilty tat ask ppl study but me the 1 no qualification.. juz like 2 years before.. i juz knw to ask the ex bf to study... finally, he the 1 get better result than me...and proceed to degree smoothly .... sigh... i knw wat kind of me.... i wonder y i cant get equilibrium in both side.. but i wont give up to prove i am not affected... haha.. coz i willing to prove.. it is oso a great motivation for me to show my parents. i am not the Ai Ping like before...
tok about my parents ...i alwis need to prove alot to them.. recently i did it .. i get bak the trust from my mum.. and my aunt.. u knw? in my family can get appreciation frm my 2nd aunt tats is the great motivation. i still remember during the chinese new year, my aunt standing near the door and tok to me "hey, show something for us to proud off k?" wow! i feel like having a great force in my body.. if u dunno my family, u wont knw how i care this idol(2nd aunt)wenever she tok to me.. and tat moment i knw she tok like this coz she believe my ability d. this is not a stress or force.. becoz she tok with smile at me. tats y i am so happy. she like to praise me in front of my mum. if not her, i tink my mum still tinking i am the 1 who ever fell down greatly.. tats y , now my mum start to put bak the expectation on me.. hehe.. for ur information, my 2nd aunt wont simply praise ppl oh~tats y my mum felt so proud wenever my aunt praise her little fat gal. my wish wont be happen d.. coz i ever wish tat i got a chance to take photo with my dad wen i wearing the gown and mortarboard.. so now, i juz wish tat i got a chance to take photo with my 2nd aunt during my convocation day.. but i tink i juz dreaming lo... if my popo come i more happy.. but i knw wont lo.. coz i knw my popo went to my cousin convocation lastime was becoz he get top 1 in the medicine field.. deliver speech on the stage by taking a stick which represent the honourable in the medicine field wor... i where got such ability can do like my cousin did wor... many grandchildren oni 1 or 2 got the chance tat popo attend to graduation day wor..plus, popo's leg cant stand long geh.. nvm lo.. as long as my picture with mortarboard can hang againts the wall in popo's house like all my cousins did i already so proud d... hehe ... paiseh... tok so far d... watever la.. study hard 1st...
ermm.. quite jealous Kimberly got many relatives attend to her graduation day.. anyway, gud luck in ur future undertakings.

luv,
Apple

i so depress....

i am so depress now... my mind juz full of worry.. so upset about my course mid term... so lost.. even start to tink am i suitable for this course or not... its really long time din get such terrible figure in my life d.. tats y if juz a single "A" in my result i will be very happy... i am so lost... very unhappy... i self-examination the whole day... i tinking wats the problem in my paper... i wish to meet my lecturer as soon as possible... i wish to knw where is my problem...yet... i so afraid.. my self-esteem really playing my mind this sem... i realize my confidence really extremely low recently... i alwis console myself, motivate myself by writing something motivate phases in my blog...and boost up my self-confidence... yet... i still the same... where is the smart Apple d??? where is the brave Apple?? i wonder.... actually i really wish to cry... but the tears..... its not come out... i dunno y i so calm to knw tat wen my fren told me... i really wish i was not 1 of them... wats wrong with me??

fren, tell me... am i not suitable to be a PR practioner ? i so sked.... i started to judge my ability.... give me some respone if u r 1 of my best frens....... i tink u all knw me better...

by lost Apple

tha day i realize something..

today i went to PR tutorial.. i aksed my lecturer wat company she work. she told alot to us, and i found her experiences really nvr let me looked down on her ability.. and she pointed some of my classmates tat got the ability to work in event.. do u knw, i hope i am 1 of them.. but i am not . i oso understnd y i not pointed out.. becoz in the class i lacking show my ability.. lacking voice out opinions. tats y lecturer still cant found out my ability.. and she told us even during the internship v still nit to show our result 3.5 above oni easier to get job... i start to fear.. i start to no confidence.. but today oso let me understand alot... i cant juz kept silent like this d... i wana be 1 of the gud student in the lecturer's heart... i dunno i can be or not.. if they not realize me nvm.. as long as i perform well.. no more guilty in my result.. PR is not juz gud to knwing ppl, gud in communication... today, i realize few days ago i was very childish... finally during the working place.. they still nit to c our result and certs.. y i still stubborn tinking something useless and pointless... work hard 1st.. so tat i got the potential not oni in knowledge but oso in talent and skill.. i realize if a PR person juz knw to tok , yet pointless is juz showing the potential in toking.. but it is still depends on tok with point or pointless. so.. i dun want to be a person juz knw to tok nonsense.. but oso smart to tok and tok smart..
i undersantd d... knowledge oni the way tat i can show off in the future.. talents is juz a skill to help me cope with the problems.. still the same phrase..

no dream is too high , no journey is too far..

awake Apple.