i am so so so...... tired...

wake up early in the morning fetch my eld bro to bus station... haiz... wat to do... i dun want et scold if 2 times fetch ppl oso is my sis... so sacrifice lo... then come back to kampar d, busy like hell.. tmr is my PR writing presentation.. so scared lo... seems so strong every group.. yet lecturer still not satisfied.. so hopefully tmr our group perform well la... i am so tired leh... so sleepy... miss my darling.... think he might be sleeping now... last friday i spent alot... this was my first time buy clothes RM 130 something... but u knw wat i bought? alot!! u knw i use juz this much of money but bought 5 clothes, skirt, shirt and others. quite smart in spending gah... plus, all i bought ws sold very expensive lastime. now 70% discount. damn cheap.. the highest price oni charged me RM 32.90... whahhaaaa..... syok ! the cloth is very smooth and good quality wan leh..
k la... syok finish shud back to my duty d... go discussion... haiz... y are they alwis set the time in the middle of having food wan.. at a lost for words


Panda Apple

cold war end.

this was the 1st time tat v argue till hurted both parties so much... al suffer like hell... fight till the end... reason is no 1 willing to surrender. futhermore, if some1 underestimate me i more wana show i am not. haha.. u knw la. Aries horoscope ppl wont simply surrender wan ma.. who ask u chose a Aries gf. bleh~~ k la.. no more war then is good lo~~ elelele~~~ tok early ma nonit suffer la. bleh~~

muack~~

Apple

i got no energy to explain anymore..

so tiring... its so tiring me..... y again and again u miss undrstd me...? y..? that's no point for me to defend for myself d.... there oni never ending story...... i juz wana be alone to escape all happen between us... wish to go home... i cant bear to stay here d.... so suffer.... friday come faster... i want go home... i dun want face these all non sense, lame situation d....

damn sad rite now...

stupid me.... emo for wat.... but i am so sad now....even tears dropping on my tigh.. damn sad now... y toking i wasting money to buy spec... ? and hp....? do u knw the spec i wearing now makes me very uncomfortable...? mayb i dizzy alwis becoz something wrong with my spec.... hp... who not hope.. but did i act and go buy ....? did i??? every1 of my frens oso knw i wont simply spend money to buy hp.. u can see i alwis observe and look around ... i juz observe when they can drop the price much oni choose a rite time to buy... but did i go buy even there are drop price so much...? y toking me like tat......? sob..sob.. y forever in ur heart i m not independent. yet in my parent's heart i am?? coz u r my bf , thats makes when u with me i got some1 to rely on.. i can rest awhile to be tough... but parents i have to make them no worry on me.... i really dunno wat to say d.... i surrender d... let me alone and calm down...

cant u juz linear abit for me???

... i am damn not hapy rite now... whenever v tok about go back hometown, or religion stuff i sure kik till dunno wat to say.... i juz hope u linear to me oni.... how many times do i nit to say... i put famaily as 1st... i cant not go back to home town and meet my mum... y whenever i said want to go hometown u sure said me ... u might thinking i not independent this and that.. but did u put urself in my shoe and think y?? i left my mum oni!!. 31/8 got 3 holidays all my brothers got chance to come back, v finally can have a whole family meet and gather together y i not take this chance to chat with my family ... ?? i have been gone thru the moment that my loving dad leave me.. this is y i become more care about this family!! i more care about the moment that whole family can meet together... if juz in skol life u cant even understand y i want to spend my time with my parents then i couldn't imagine how wbout the future wat lo..... is it means even more i cant go back to meet my mum and parents.. or have to ask permission whenever i go home??? u understand y i not happy or not???!! how many time do i nit to say....?? can u use ur heart to think y i not happy or not?? this make me feel u so selfish u knw.. !? religion is the most sensitive issue wat but u can even said after wat wat wat i dun want wat.. come on.. i oso dunno how to explain to u.. as i have told u before wat i have been thru and experience something that not much ppl can have the chance to experience .. religion is juz a safety place that for me to behave more obidient, more kind and think about others so that i can remind myself not to behave bad oni.. if not there is a religion that can rely on, i think u wouldn't see me smiling alwis.. and will in trauma becoz of my dad leave me u knw!!?? do u knw i had emo for 3 months becoz i couldn't put down my dad. i even force myself to sleep everynite and try to think about the word of my believe "release". then oni i can stand till now.... u understand or not...? this believe has cultivated by my dad since small,so how can i accept a house without wat wat wat....this is totally a sensitive issue to tok with, can u think deeply for me.. dun too strict to me pls.. i very san fu if like that... is not i wana show u face when i dun like.. i juz feel like very innocent and dunno wat to tok and i knw i explain and explain u still behave like tat even i choose to be silent better...
sometimes, i wish to go some places with u to take some photos but u said hot la, dangerous la... then not allow... but do u knw there are the places that i wish to go with u and carve the unforgetable memories in my heart ?? and those places are i wish to go long long ago.... is like a fairy story for me... yet cant accomplish with u ......
do u knw i feel wana cry out loud rite now.....??? i so sad that u cant understand y i behave like this, y i tok like this ar................................................................
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i'm really at a lost for words d.....


@pPLe.......

diarrhoea..

yesterday nite, i was so suffer ... dizzy like hell... then vomit and diarrhoea.... so suffer... 1st time food poisoning... luckily darling is here.. he fetch me to hospital ... after come bak from hospital i vomit again... but i vomit in the pail, luek~ so smelly... i was so dizzy.. i asked kuoky help me to wash the pail.. sigh... he sked.. then i wash the pail by myself with a damn dizzy condition.... haiz... sked apalah.. if u r the patient u vomit in the pail i will do it for u too... but u not dare... tat moment i quite disappointed lo... but sigh... i also understand it is so suffer for him to wash it so... then rest awhile , feel no nothing can vomit anymore, then i faster consume the medicine, after tat wash up and quickly go lie on the bed to sleep... so dizzy... so suffer... around 2.00am.. my roomate come back.. she really so sot wan.. wash clothes again... so noisy...damn annoying... the moment i open my eyes, no more dizzy d.. fine, ignore u.. then 6.30 am something... she wash clothes again!! yes, is again!!. u see, where got such silly ppl wan???? i met first time.. say her hardworking or wat?? then i skip the POP class d... after tat i try to wake up and go for EMC class. wat the fuck... the lecturer said today i got no more to teach.. but not allow us to go.. wat the... our presentation has gone d... sit there and chat.. but i was still blur after vomit out whole nite... then go home d, called my mum and told her , i food poisoning.. then she very fast ask me who fetch u, guy or gal.. ? r u dating..? wat can i answer?? i knw if i answer yes my life will started suffer when go home.. she muz scold me.. then i answered no... but she said " no?" i wonder y i so big d, in university d cant have a bf... y?? as long as i still study . be the good student ma ok lo.. y so kolot wor..... lastime sis study in Kolej, dad also asked y no ppl woo ar? y me is like this wor.. wrong 1 time like punish me forever... so suffer... who to blamed?? my younger brother??? becoz of dating academic drop sharply become me oso cant d??? how about my sis?? mouth said wont bother if dating in uni, did she asked many in front of my mum..? i dunno... i really dunno.. or my mum really smart like that..? haiz... y i can metioned my frens they dating, y myself cant dating...???



pity Apple

fuck u!!

fuck ur face
fuck ur personality
fuck ur behave
fuck u no manner
fuck ur fake!!
yes, is u !! is u!!!!

wow...wow..wow...

assignment is getting lesser.. burden started to release.. all this while.. i am very happy to same group with my PR writing members. a big group and corperate. no stress. a group of frens that support each other. i am very happy.. there are some strong and weak members in the group , but the good thing is i like the strong ppl never arrogant and willing to teach the weak wan. after they have try their best pass up their work if got mistake they use gentle tone to tok to frens and motivate them instead of scold. i love this kind of situation to work.. no blame to others member. yet give support and teach each other.. we discuss in a peaceful condition. no stress in the group. this kind of team work oni can carry out best work. thats what i alwis think that a group success or not, is depends on how the executive process work in task and oso care team member feelings. a best work is not oni evaluate in effeciency of work oni,maintain a good relationship with group members is oso a kind of knowledge.. because when v wana a person change yet v muz have technic in communicate with them. if not v accidentally hurting ppl , insulting them , offended them oni...

Apple

love is blind

i never trusted this concept, yet i have slowly agreed with this d.. v hav argued yesterday.. both of us like earth collide Mars d... so angry.. not understand each other stand.. stand strongly with own stand....
yet, today v seems like ntg.. actually i still angry with him when he din said sorry then chat to me.. but, when the moment he holding my hand when walk to hawker stall to have our dinner.. my fire slowly and slowly off d.. finally.. he tease me again.. exspecialy when he said " elelelele..." stupid me.. sure cant control myself and laugh again.. ish!! no face tim! whahaha!!!
but i knw.. i wont angry him for so long.. u knw y ??? coz of the word of "LOVE"

becoz of love,
i accept the weakness of u
becoz of love
i tolerate to makes both of us happy alwis
becoz of love
i forgot who am i
becoz love
i have no more temper
becoz of love
i have change to dependent
becoz of love
my life full of colours
becoz of love
angry become forgive
becoz of love
2 become 1
becoz of love
v have been together 7 months

although recently i found that v like old couple d, no more excitement created by u.. but in my heart. i think this shown that v have go in the stable stage.

but....!! darling ar~ romantic sometimes in order to carve a smile on me wont take a lot of liquip in ur brain rite ?? bleh~~~

k la, anyway u still the spidy that i love~.
( see, i makes u smile d, elelelele~~ ngo ji zhong yi tai lei gam geh yeong, zha zha dai~~ bleh~)

LOVE u spidy~ (shivering~, luek~)

love,
Mary JAne

tired....

its been 2 months i din touch any seafood and my favurite food d... its all becoz i got so sensitive skin... ellergic .. rashes for 1 month i tot i can no longe eat those pan mee until i almost look like a "pan" d.. then suddenly got 1 scar on my mimi... i got scared... becoz all the symptom i have is totally like breast cancer... then worry.. and sked ... many problem occurred in my mind.. last week i went back home town to c doctor.. while i waiting to go in the room.. i got so nervous.. my heart beat increase... luckily, my dad is blessing me.. i am juz ellergy.. walao eh!! shocked me... after ate for 2 days medicine, my mimi heal 75% d.. luckily... u knw.. i even ever think many non sense and make sense questions ... ermm... how can i live without mimi.. how i going to feed my little cute babies nextime... i love babies so much leh!! whahaha!! luckily ... really.. is like the feeling when v waiting our SPM result release. whaha!!
i have been gone thru the most tough week last week.. a week where nit to submit 3 assignments.. its so tired all this while.. this sem is the sem that i din home for so long.. becoz of all those stupid assignment.. hopefully.. my shoulder could start lighten from now on...
recently i not happy... dunno y.. dun ignore when i sms u.. if busy. at least send bck to me said u are busy k... i will worry wan..

he is near me

haha, my darling was move to westlake again. becoz of the rashes . yeah, v got no more distance between us. and save petrol for him d. previously, when v wana go eat i sure slowly in prepare myself, but now.. he is so near. btw, if walk it is quite far oso. whaha!! anyways, westlake is more facilities than eastlake in my perception la. wah, he received alot of free gift from danish wor. y i dun hav ya? i hav been a tenant here about 1 and half year d. NO free gift geh. protection mattress some more.. anyway, for sure i am the 1 who very happy he is near me la. if he is still in 1434 i more happy, u knw y? becoz i juz nit to walk infront a row and turn left then there is his house already. whahaha!!
yes, the magazine finally have submited to tutor lu~~ my assignment is going to getting less and less. but i still can feel the stress i having now.. u knw how? if u press ur shoulder, u feel pain and hard , this is call stress. its like u carrying a burden on ur shoulder. so massage will be a better way lo. i nit itso much~~~ so tired now.. nitez.. muack~~